One week down. A busy one to go.

That's right - we're half way through our 2-week-wait. I actually haven't been thinking about it TOO much really. Just been busy at work with deadlines approaching and busy at night with other stuff. So my mind hasn't been too wrapped around it, but I do feel like I've seen more pregnant women in the last week than in like the last year. And not just random people out and about... Project Runway last week had a maternity challenge. Every flippin' magazine cover in the checkout aisles had something about pregnant women. It just seemed to be everywhere. Well it always seems like it's everywhere to me, but it REALLY seemed so this past week.

Friday night I had a girls' night out - with myself. I had a massage and back facial after work and then headed home, took a shower (to get the oily massage funk off) and snuggled up with my pups to watch a movie. The hub and some of his buddies made an impromptu trip down to Cape Canaveral Friday to watch the space shuttle launch. He was on cloud 9 - he LOVES all things NASA and space. This was his first one, so he was just on a high all weekend over it. But the kicker was - they drove all the way down there (about 7 hours), watched the launch, and drove straight back. Crazy boys. Sounds like torture to me, but he was all about it. Needless to say, he was pretty worthless on Saturday. But I must give him props because he still was a good sport Saturday afternoon - we had to drive up to Athens to visit Christmas Bride and her new baby, and then immediately hit GroupLink at church that evening.

Christmas Bride's little girl was too cute to boot. She snuggled up on my chest and started snoozin' away. I don't know what the hell you moms are whinin' about... looks pretty easy to me. Hahahahaha... that's always our joke when we visit other people's babies because they always seem to act like little angels around us. Though the hub will tell you it's his doing. So I call him the baby whisperer. Christmas Bride invited us to come back about 3am that evening and see just how fun it was then...

So after getting back from Athens we ate really fast at the house and headed over to the church. GroupLink went REALLY well. I was feeling good about it when we went. They did a much better job of dividing up the geographic areas this time versus the last time we went to a GroupLink there. So there was a true "Buford/Suwanee" area this time instead of "everyone southeast of the church." We found a group that's lead by a great couple in their early 40's. They don't have any kids, but most of the couples in the group do. BUT the group has a babysitter, so the kids are off in another room. This is a big, big deal. I'm cool with being in a group where people have kids, but I don't want the kids AT the group meetings. It's just incredibly distracting. That's happened a few times in past groups where couples who had babies started bringing them to group every session. And it's not because I'm sensitive around babies and want to throw cement blocks at your fertile uterus, it's seriously just distracting. Especially to the hub... we'll be in the middle of reading some serious scripture and I look over and he's making googly eyes at the baby. So anyway, we're really looking forward to getting started and to see how the group works out. Our first meeting is this Thursday, so I'll give you the scoop later this week.

OK so in other SUPER exciting news... guess who's going to see Britney Spears Friday night! ME, ME, ME!!!!!! OMG. Last Friday afternoon, Lucky emailed me and was like, what are you doing Friday 9/4? And I was like, getting my hairs cut (also super exciting as I haven't had a hair cut in - gasp - 6 months). Then she was like, how would you like to show off your new do that night? OK... what do you have in mind? Um, she totally scored FREE box seats at the Britney concert!!! Her firm is apparently "looking into" renting a skybox at Philips Arena and they were given a bunch of Britney tickets to woo them. Lucky was able to get two of the tickets and she asked me to go (because she knows I'm in LOVE with Britney)!!!! I'm soooooooooo excited! Just such a fun surprise. We saw her back in March (or whenever it was) when she hit Atlanta the first time, but I can't wait to see her again! Super fun! Aren't you jealous?!?! You should be.

Alrighty... my to-do list here is barking at me. Gotta run, dear readers. xoxoxo

Oh P.S. - question for you Pottery Barn fans. I looked on the website, but only see return policy info for web/catalog purchases. Do you know if the stores will take back merchandise without a receipt for a store credit? Don't laugh, but we are seriously thinking about returning the flatware sets we got for our wedding (um... 7 years ago). They still sell the collection, so I'm hoping we could get a store credit for what they're currently selling for. We only got 5 place settings and they literally have been sitting in drawers for 7 years in their boxes, unopened. So perfect condition and all... anyone done this there? It would be over $200 of a store credit which would be fab to use for Christmas and shower gifts!!!!! Thought some of y'all might know off hand. I'm probably going to run by our PB this week to find out.

Hey, y'all.

Geez... I feel so disconnected from bloggy world. I can't get on blogger at work, but I had been able to at least get on Google Reader and keep up with y'all that way - even though I couldn't leave comments. But now Reader has been blocked - um, hello! Highly annoying. And I haven't had the energy or time lately while at home to hop on here much. I've been slappin' Lucky's bachelorette invitations together over the last few days and finally got them mailed out today. These pics are craptastic because I had to resort to using my camera phone (my real camera crapped out on me last night), so just trust that these are WAY cuter in person...




We're doing a whole bachelorette weekend at a cabin up in Helen, Georgia. We're old... we're over the whole go-out-and-wear-a-veil-with-condoms-and-get-drunk thing. We're all in our 30's, so it's going to be a low-key weekend of good girly fun.

As for Buford Baby, we had our IUI on Monday! I had another ultrasound first thing Monday morning to make sure my lining was OK before going forward with insemination. My doctor wants it at 7 and it was at 6.9! Last Wednesday it was only at 5.5 - not good. So I had been poppin' the fatty estrogen pills since then to help it along. Everything going in - my lining, potential eggies, the hub's specimen - looked the best of all 3 cycles we've done. So we were really thrilled and feel pretty great about this cycle. Of course there's no promise it'll be a success, but we're excited about it. So yeah, we're on the forever long two-week-wait right now. Luckily we've got plenty of other stuff going on so I'm not dwelling on it 24/7. And now I know definitely not to read into any symptoms too soon... The whole sore boobs and wonky nipples were totally due to the estrogen. Had to be. They've already started again - before I even ovulated, so yeah. I'm just trying to stay chill and keep praying for a sticky baby to set up camp in my oven.

Not much coming up this weekend other than GroupLink at church - we did decide that we're definitely going. We had a training thing at church Monday night and it kinda firmed up the fact that we need to get back in a group. So we're just gonna give it a go and let God do his thing. I'll of course let y'all know how that all goes!

And lastly... finally I can post the recipes I mentioned last week. Sorry it took me two forevers! First is this great Sangria recipe. I had one that I used all the time, but I can't find it to save my life. So I resorted to google to find a similar one. My main concern - I had the red wine but no other liquor. A lot of recipes call for brandy, triple sec, or some other liquor, but it was a Sunday when I decided to find this magic recipe and well, you Georgia girls know you can't buy liquor on Sundays (for the same reason Sally Albright said they don't make "Sunday" underwear). I looked high and low for a recipe that sounded good that ONLY required red wine. But I gave up. I found the closet thing, that sounded good and similar to what I'd made before and tweeked it a bit. So here goes...


Red Sangria With Oranges and Apples

1 medium apple, cored and cut into chunks
1 medium orange
1 bottle of quality red wine (um, the cheap stuff will do)
1 cup club soda
1/4 cup sugar (I only used a little sugar - I don't like it super sweet, so do this to taste)
2 cups orange juice
1/2 cup Cointreau, or any other orange flavored liqueur (I substituted a 1/2 cup of 100% grape juice)

Directions:
In a large pitcher add the red wine, orange juice, club soda, sugar, and orange flavored liqueur and stir till sugar is disolved. Slice the orange into wheels and add the apple chunks and orange slices. Chill at least one hour and serve over ice in individual glasses. (I usually don't add the club soda till right before I serve it so it doesn't go flat.)


Ahh... I do love a good glass or six of Sangria. OK so my dessert that I made the same night was baked apples with vanilla ice cream. I used bestest's recipe or method or whatever you want to call it for apple pie filling to do the apples. Then I found a recipe for a walnut topping to finish it off. OMG it was SO good. Peeling and cutting the apples takes a little time, but this is all so easy. Check it out...


Baked Apples with Walnut Topping

Apple mixture:
6-8 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and sliced
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup flour
1 tsp cinnamon

Walnut topping:
1 stick butter
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 cup flour
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 cup whole walnuts, coarsely chopped

Directions:
For the apples, mix the sugar, flour, and cinnamon and set aside. As you slice the apples, set them in a separate bowl and add a little of the sugar mixture after every apple or so. (So like slice up an apple or two and sprinkle some of the sugar mixture on top, then repeat - you don't necessarily have to use all of the sugar mixture). And bestest - totally correct me if my amounts are way off on the sugar mixture. I did it from memory.

For the topping, melt the butter, then add the brow sugar, granulated sugar, and cinnamon. Stir until well blended. Then add the flour, powdered sugar, and the walnuts. The mixture should be crumbly but also clump together some.

In a baking dish, spoon the apples in and sprinkle the walnut topping all over, covering the apples. Bake at 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes or until apples are tender. Yum-O!!!!!!


So there you go. Alright, I'm off to enjoy a bowl of cereal and then I'm gonna call it a night. I'll check back in soon! xoxoxo

Group Project

One day, I'll actually get on blogger and get those yummy recipes I mentioned up, but I've failed to get on this week while at home.  So you're stuck with my pictureless email posts for now, sorry.  I've just been running around lots this week and haven't had much time on the 'puter at home. 

 

Anyway, so I had my mid-cycle check early this morning.  Possibly four eggies there, but they're not as mature as they usually are at this point in my cycle - which means I'm probably gonna ovulate later than I normally do. Whatever.  And I didn't respond to the Femara as well as they'd hoped - my lining is better, but it's still not where it needs to be.  So this is downright annoying.  We were all hoping this would be my miracle drug.  So I've got to go back on my insta-fat-ass estrogen pills today to try and pump up my lining.  They're bringing me back in Monday a.m. for another ultrasound to see where I'm at then.  If I detect a surge before then, they'll bring me in the next day, but still do another ultrasound to see if all looks OK before doing any insemination.  So yeah... keep praying for my jacked up lining.  (Do I sound a little bitter?!  Hahaha...)

 

In other news - sorta related, sorta not - we're supposed to be going to GroupLink later this month at church to get back in a couples' small group.  We've been in small groups the last 4 or 5 years through church and have loved it.  And we've made some great friends through them.  But our dilemma has always been finding a group of couples our age, in our proximity, that don't have kids.  Not that we hate all couples with kids... um, hello - we're trying to be like you!  Most of our friends have kids - friends we hang out with a lot.  But the truth is - our lives are TOTALLY different.  We are just at an entirely different stage in life - depsite being the same age - and honestly, I love you, but I can't relate to you just yet.  And that's OK - doesn't mean we can't hang out with you.  But in a small group setting, I think it's best when the majority of the group is around the same age and at a similar stage in life.  That's what makes it awesome to me - doing life together and growing with other people who are on a similar path.  Of course no one's exactly at the same place in life, and sure won't stay that way - but you know what I'm saying.

 

And while we attend the Buckhead campus of our church, we do GroupLink through a different campus up here in suburbia in order to find couples closer to where we live.  Which means, couples our age are more prone to have kids already.  Cuz you know all the hip childless couples still live in the city.  The 'burbs are full of minivans and strollers.  I still contend we moved up here for our dogs to have a yard... but we obviously didn't buy a 5-bedroom house so I could have 4 walk-in closets.  Whatever. 

 

So we find ourselves stuck between getting in a group of people our age who are already parents, or a group of people without kids, who are 10 years younger than us.  Geez, what is worse?  We're outsiders in either case because hello, what the hell do I have in common with a 24 year-old who just got married?  A whole bunch of nothing.  Just as the parents our age are in a different league, so are the 20-something newlyweds.  Totally different stage of life and we just don't relate.   Again, doesn't mean we can't be friends - but in a small group, no thanks. 

 

So all-in-all, that's really been our reason for laying low over the summer and not getting in a group till this fall.  But we were hoping we'd know if we were gonna be pregnant or not by then - 'cause if we were, then I'd be like OK let's go ahead and find a group with kids.  But we still don't know and I'm hesitant to place us in any sort of "category" at this point.  On one hand I'm like, let's just wait.  But then on the other I'm like - God is at work here, and there may be a group for us we need to be in and I need to stop worrying about the stage of life crap so much.  I mean our last two group leader couples have been blessings in more ways than imaginable.  Both women also had major battles with infertility and it's been so awesome to share our struggles with each other.  And I know God put these two women in my life.  So maybe I'm being a bit over-dramatic here and just need to let him run the show.  What do y'all think?

 

Anyway, we'll see how I feel once the date rolls around for GroupLink.  I think the hub is kinda iffy too - so we'll see.  Just thinking out loud here.  Alright, y'all...  gotta get back to it.  Hope y'all are having fab weeks!  I'll check back in later.

Mrs. Nicholson

These drugs I'm on are giving me crazy dreams at night - it must be the Femara.  I mean I dream usually, and sometimes I can remember the weird ones, but the last few days I've had some OFF the wall dreams.  And I find no explanation other than the drugs I'm on.

 

Last night I had a dream - a rather extended dream, mind you - that I was married to Jack Nicholson.  Where the hell I came up with that one, I have no idea.  I love him as an actor, sure.  But do I swoon over him?  Um, no.  And while I have several of his movies on DVD, have I watched any of them lately? Nope.  Did I catch a headline somewhere recently about him?  No.  I have no idea why my dreams depicted matrimonial bliss with Jack, but so they did.

 

We had a great little apartment together and I must say he was rather charming.  It wasn't a sexual dream whatsoever (thank God) - more like "a day in the life of Betty and Jack."  I got the sense that my friends weren't too pleased with my choice of spouse, but I was determined to sell them on the idea.  I clearly remember wrapping my arms around him in my dream and asking him, "so honey, do you have any fun new projects in the works?"  And he smiled that famous smile and told me he thought so - he'd keep me posted.  And one morning I told him he looked like the Joker.  And then I was like, "hello, you WERE the Joker!"  We had a good laugh at that one, Jack and I.

 

Yeah, no idea where that nonsense came from.  But I assured the hub this morning that I would not be leaving him for Jack.  I think he was rather relieved.  OK so in other exciting news, I re-ordered my dress for Lucky's wedding yesterday from J. Crew because it was on wicked sale.  I knew they had marked it down to $99 (I paid $205 back in June), but replacing it would still mean coming out of pocket $100 because I could only get a store credit at this point for returning the original dress.  And while the $100+ net savings was tempting, y'all know our budget is tight as hell and we just couldn't swing it.  But fast forward a couple of weeks to NOW...  er - yesterday, rather...  and I get the "extra 20% off final sale" email from J. Crew.  OK...  I hop back on to see if they still have the dress I need in my size.  Not only do they have it, but they had marked it down again to $79.99!  I was sold... with the extra 20% off, I got it for $64.  Couldn't pass that up.  AND I ordered a 6 this time.  I still want to leave room for boobage since I could possibly (hopefully) be 5 months pregnant at Lucky's wedding, but I don't think I need the 8.  Remember, I thought I'd be 8 months pregnant when I ordered that one.  Doh.

 

Yeah so the new cheap dress is on its way.  As soon as it hits my doorstep, I'm taking the old expensive one back to J. Crew to get my store credit.  Score!  And I plan to stretch that $205 store credit as far as humanly possible.  And I will.  Oh yes.  I will keep a tally of everything I get with it because it won't all be at once.  I'm far too sensible now to blow it on one pair of shoes (which the old me totally would've done!). 

 

Oh and our birthday dinner for my dad Sunday night was fab!  You should've seen the honkin' huge piece of pork I got from Costco.  We only cooked half of it Sunday.  I also made some Sangria, which was a hit.  Sangria's my favorite - good Sangria anyway.  It's extremely dangerous because you can drink it so darn fast and not realize you should've stopped like 4 glasses ago.  And if you've ever searched for Sangria recipes, I'm sure you know there are like 5 million different ways to do it and there's really no wrong way.  But the one I did Sunday was rather tasty, so I'll share that recipe once I can get on blogger.  I'm afraid my spacing will go all wonky if I try to post a recipe by email.

 

Also for dessert I did baked apples with a walnut topping - OMG.  I'm not a huge dessert person, but apple pie is one of my weaknesses.  I'll also give you that recipe.  Bestest - I basically did the apples like you do for your pie filling, and then made a walnut topping to sprinkle on top.  And then we had vanilla ice cream with - that was my dad's first question when I mentioned the apples... "with ice cream?!"  I'll pop back later with the deets on those treats.

 

And one last thing, dear readers...  please say a little prayer for my lining tonight!  I have my mid-cycle check bright and early tomorrow morning and I'm very anxious to see how thick my lining is!  I'm not taking any estrogen yet, so we'll see if the switch to Femara did the trick.  And no - I'm not really anxious - that's not a good word.  I'm not worried about it - just very, very curious.  I'll let y'all know what I find out! xoxoxo

On the Menu

So tonight my parents are coming over for dinner. We're cookin' up a fun meal for my dad's birthday. Nothing too fancy - we all did the fancy schmancy thing Friday night at Sugo. Tonight we're doing BBQ pork sandwiches (with my yummy crockpot recipe), corn casserole, slaw, and baked beans. Then I'm doing some baked apples for dessert with a yummalicious walnut topping and vanilla ice cream. I'm trying a different walnut topping recipe, so I'll share if it's good. Hope you all are having fun weekends!

I got tanked!

Oh I am like on a tank top high, if there is such a thing. I think it's a combo of the fact that (1) I haven't bought anything for myself in almost a YEAR, and (2) I got 20 tank tops for less than $40. I'm so glad we went right when the store opened. It wasn't crazy crowded, but I guarantee by noon those tables of tanks will be empty. People were hovering over those tanks and grabbing them left and right and discussing strategies on how to get more than 5 (the limit per customer). But even the Old Navy chick standing by, constantly refolding tanks only to be rummaged through again and again, said that we could go through the check-out as many times as we wanted. AND I had 4 10% off coupons with, so we got an additional little savings there. If you're heading over there today to grab some $2 tanks, be sure to print off some for yourself!


It's not a huge discount, but hey - every penny counts, mommas. Just hop over to the weekly ads page and look for the two creepy girl mannequins in the top right corner. Click the coffee cup circled that the one on the left is holding and your coupon will pop up. It's only good once, so you've got to print several if you're planning on getting more than 5 tanks...



Yeah so I got 20 fab tanks... all different except I did get two of the delicious charcoal grey ones because I'm having a total love affair with grey right now. Everything grey is catching my eye lately. I'm completely giddy. I already hung up all my new tanks and went through my old ones and pitched the worn out ones in the Goodwill pile. A bunch of them have holes and stains and whatnot - I was totally in need of some replacements! So I had to display my scrumptious loot on the kitchen table and snap a pic...


Fab, aren't they? I do love a deal. Had I paid full price, these 20 tanks would've cost me $170 before adding tax. Yeah, I know they're on sale half the time for like 2 for $15 or 2 for $12, but still... it's more fun to think I saved 79%!

Alright... gotta get off my high horse and get some work done. I've got to put Lucky's bachelorette invites together! I will take pics of this project because it'll be a fun one. And I only have to make 7... she's just inviting her bridesmaids. So that's fun when I don't have to make like 200 of the same thing. I'm also brainstorming on designs for her wedding invitations this weekend. So I'll be playing around with those some too. Oh and I've got to get to the grocery today too... argh. AND I've got to update the budget. Too much to do. Hope y'all are having great weekends so far! Hmmm... which tank to wear first?!

Here's one sale I can't pass up!

Get ready, cuz all day Saturday (8/15) - and Saturday only - Old Navy tanks are $2 each! This is way more exciting for me than the $1 flip flops were earlier this summer. Because I don't need a million pairs of flip flops. I already have like 500,000. But I DO need a whole slew of new tanks. A lot of my old ones have stains and holes so I need some serious replacements. Note that they do have a 5-per-customer limit, so I'm bringing the hub along so I can snag more! I think we'll have to go Old Navy hopping so I can get lots. Or if they're super crowded, will they really notice if I go through the check-out multiple times? Please, like they care. I'm pretty excited because I haven't bought anything new for myself in almost a year. That's right - almost a year. All our cash is going to baby makin' and debt paydown - there's no room for a shopping budget. The only new clothes I've gotten over the last year have been gifts. But you can bet your britches I'll me taking my "miscellaneous" cash envelope to Old Navy first thing Saturday morning. And unfortunately, mommas, maternity tanks are not included or I'd probably be snagging some of those too for future.

And on another random note, you should see this contraption I'm in today. I do test-wearing for a very, very popular hosiery and body wear company here in Atlanta and today I feel like a tightly rolled burrito. I'm still breathing, but it's only 10:30am. Hmmm...

Fried Eggs

No, my eggs aren't fried. That's just what I had for dinner, so I thought it'd be an appropriate blog title. Two eggs over easy atop toast - that's how I do it. I break the yolks half the time and they turn into a mess, but they're still good.

So I'm in much better spirits this week! Had a great weekend... pretty low-key. Friday night the hub and I went for a hot dog dinner at Costco and then to see The Proposal. Very cute movie - even the hub liked it. The storyline is pretty predictable, but I never let that get in my way. Lots of great moments and Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds really had great chemistry.



Definitely rent that one if you don't get out to the theatre to catch it. We met up with Lucky and her man on Saturday morning and she said they saw Julie and Julia the night before. They are big movie-goers and she said that was the best movie she's seen in she can't remember how long. My godmother also saw it this weekend and told my mom "run-don't-walk to go see this movie!" So I'm thinking it must be fab! Anyone catch it yet? That one's next on my list.

So Saturday morning we joined Lucky and her man at the High Museum in midtown - they were having a special discount on tickets from 10am to 12pm. So we got in for only $5 each! I think it's normally $17 or so - quite a deal! Gosh, we hadn't been since the Van Gogh exhibit was here a few years ago and that place has changed SO much. They've added on a ton of space and the whole entrance is totally different than it used to be. I can remember going down that zig-zagging staircase on elementary school field trips. So if you Atlanta gals haven't been in a while, you need to go check it out! The Monet exhibit is here for another couple of weeks, but DaVinci will be coming in October. Here's a peek inside I got with my camera phone...



The rest of our weekend was pretty uneventful... just stayed in and put on my domestic diva hat. Well, no that's a lie. Actually Saturday after we got back I was a total bum till about 6 o'clock. Lucky let me borrow season 1 of True Blood and I finished up the last 5 episodes on Saturday. Yep - five. As in five hours of TV where I was sprawled out on the bed with a remote. OMG I never do that and I gotta tell you it was pretty thrilling.



We don't get HBO, so I'm not up on season 2 yet. Anybody else watch the series? I thought it was really good. Lucky's obsessed with it. I could do without the raunchy sex scenes - it's quite obvious a dude created it. But it's good stuff. Still, it's no Buffy - definitely not - but good. I'm pretty sure nothing will ever top Buffy in the vampire world. OK but after I finished up the DVD's, I really did get domestic and got a good bit of stuff done this weekend. I even vacuumed our den furniture. It needed it. We have three dogs, so I'm sure you can imagine the condition of our furniture.

OH and Saturday I also got the sweetest cards in the mail... one from bestest - because she is the bestest! And another from Lucky and kuntry bride. They all knew I had had a really rotten week last week and being the sweet friends they are, sent me a little encouragement. It's always so fun to get some fun mail amongst all the bills and crap. Plus Lucky and kuntry bride gave me several gift cards to different places for a calorie fest. We used the Cold Stone Creamery one last night! Ice cream makes everything better - always!

So yeah, doing much better this week. Flo FINALLY made her debut on Saturday. So I was back at the doctor this morning getting my ultrasound and bloodwork. So here we go again! I will be very curious to see what my lining looks like when I go for my mid-cycle check next week. Until then, it's just poppin' pills and prayin'. But thank you all for your sweet messages! Every one of them makes me smile!

Hope you all had a fab start to your week. Phoebe is back in business - I drove her to work today and she is good as new! She even has a Honda emblem again! Haha... she was missing it for a while and I can't even remember when she lost it. She is 11, after all.

Thank God Vera Bradley bags are washable.

It's Friday and I'm at work. WTF?  Haha...  I know, boo hoo, right?!  But it does take a little getting used to after having 4-day work weeks all summer!  So today started off kinda crappy - literally in fact.  One of our doggies decided to have a poo party all over our bedroom while we were sleeping.  I thought I detected a faint poo smell when I got up (in the dark), but quickly dismissed it because Gertie was dropping fart bombs all over the place last night. 

 

Yeah well, after coming back upstairs from breakfast I was suddenly enlightened to the fact that somebody left us a poo-poo platter all over the floor and most notably, atop my two Vera Bradley bags that were sitting on the floor.  And this was no neat little pile of poo, dear readers.  I'll spare you any more details - but it was nast.  So picture me and the hub at 7:30 am, hosing down my Vera Bradley travel bags in the backyard.  Then I immediately tossed them in the wash. Grody with a capital STANK.

 

I got up what could be gotten up off the floor with paper towels, and the hub followed up with our kick-ass steam cleaner vacuum thingee.  It is a miracle worker and a must for pet owners... probably kid owners too.  And I'd tell you what it's called if I knew.  I'll find out. 

 

Yeah so that was my morning... but it quickly got better because we paid off another credit card today!  Woo hooooo!  It was the one we were gonna do last month but it got put on the back burner after I decided to run into a truck with my car.  Well, it all worked out swimmingly...  and we were able to make it happen.  So that's a great kick-off to the weekend.  We're really trying to knock out what we can because once we get pregnant, we will have to put the whole debt snowball on hold and start stashing away cash.

 

And yeah, speaking of babies... no I ain't got one yet.  That's right, I said "ain't."  We went to my RE yesterday and I took a blood test, which was negative.  Fully expected it to be negative, but given that Flo was 4 days late as of yesterday, I was still holding onto a shred of hope.  No such luck, though.  My doctor said I'm late because of all the damn progesterone I'm on.  He doubled me up this cycle, so yeah - I suppose it's a lot. 

 

So the plan of attack now is to do the 3rd IUI cycle on Femara/Letrozole instead of Clomid.  He thinks (and hopes) it's the Clomid that's causing my thin lining issue.  Apparently Femara, which is actually a breast cancer drug that my mom was on for 5 years (strange!), works very much like Clomid but doesn't have some of the nasty side effects.  One being the thinning of the lining.  So hopefully this will be our answer to that issue.  My doctor has a few other tricks up his sleeve regarding my lining if this switch-up doesn't do the job.  But if we ultimately can't get the lining where it needs to be, I may be SOL.  And that hit me pretty hard yesterday.  

 

This whole week has just been crap.  Ups and downs - am I pregnant, am I not...  and now wondering if it will *ever* work after going through two surgeries and spending thousands of dollars.  It's just a lot.  I know I generally have a great outlook on the whole thing, but I certainly have my days/weeks/what have you.  And this is one of those weeks.  It's one of those weeks where I'm just angry at the world.  Not at God... never ever have been angry at him for this.  He's the only thing getting me through this afterall.  But just bitter, you know.  Hating on all the damn fertiles out there that pass their husbands too closely in the hallway and get pregnant.  Hating them for not getting what this feels like.  Even feeling bitterness towards friends with kids sometimes because they don't freaking get it.  And I know all that is crap - but I'm just being honest.  Of course none of them are to blame.  You just get in these ruts sometimes and you feel very alone in the world.

 

But I won't stay in my rut for long.  We've been at this for almost four years now, but I know the wait for some has been much longer.  So I'm not going to complain, though I will have my days to whine and moan y'know.  More than anything, I just keep praying for patience and peace and the ability to continue to trust in God's plan and not our own.  We're doing everything we can do down here, but ultimately, we're waiting on God.  And yes, I know he has a plan for us - I really do.  It's the only way we keep plugging along.  But still, hearing, "God has a plan for you" over and over from friends and family gets flat out annoying.  I realize that's hardly fair... am I contradicting myself or what?  But it's true...  I think the same goes for any struggle or sorrow someone's going through.  Yeah, God has a plan and he's using this for something - I know that.  But I don't need *you* to tell me that.  I don't need to hear how your brother's best friend's wife struggled with infertility and had 3 failed IVF attempts before finally getting pregnant on her own.  Don't need your stories.  I just need you to say "this SUCKS" and "I love you" and "I HATE this for you" and then shut your mouth.  And I'm so not talking to anyone inparticular... I'm just flat out talking to the world. 

 

Man!  Can you sense my craptastic mood this week or what?  I'm on a LOT of hormones, forgive me.  Hell, I'm glad it's Friday!  A low-key weekend is just what I need to get me back in gear.  Oh and a nurse just called and left me a message to call her back but gave me no details.... so now I'm like, what does that mean?  Of course I start running all these scenarios through my head like, "Oh honey, we got your blood results mixed up - you ARE pregnant!"  Um, yeah right, but it's fun to imagine. 

 

OK big promises to come back on the other side with a MUCH better attitude and less ranting!  But thanks for hearing me out, girls.  Getting this stuff out helps a lot.  Love y'all!  Hope you have fantastic weekends!

 

 

 

 

 

Straddling the fence.

Just in case you're holding your breath... we tested again this morning and still nothin'. But did Flo show? Nope. I'm officially three days late with no sign of a visit from her yet. I can usually tell when she's coming - I'll spare you the details. But yeah, no sign of her. Today I'm 17 DPO. Is this annoying as hell or what? The hub and I will meet with my RE tomorrow and I'm sure he'll have me do a blood test. I'll certainly be asking for one anyway. I was telling bestest earlier, maybe this is God's way (if I'm pregnant) of having me not worry over whether we're gonna lose this one or not. Because we miscarried right around this time last go around. Oh and it doesn't help that I have sore boobs and have been cramping lots on and off for the last few days. This is one big fat tease if I'm not knocked up. Hope to have some news one way or another soon... thanks for the prayers, girls! :-)

Oh and my mom was talking about how all the pregos were gonna get first dibs on the flu shots this season, but not to worry, America, because pregos only make up 1% of the population. I'm calling bull shit on that. I see pregnant women EVERYWHERE. I'm pretty sure 86% of America is pregnant. So good luck getting a flu shot, non-pregos.

Buford Baby Update: Can we get a freakin' answer already?!

Yeah so, we started testing on Friday. I was *supposed* to wait till Saturday, but whatev. Friday was 12 DPO (that's "days past ovulation," for you fertiles who have no reason to know the acronyms) and we tested negative. It's weird... there's all this emotion building up to taking the test. I think I've mentioned it before, but I HATE taking home pregnancy tests. I got over that years ago. I never take them unless I have a reason to and I'm totally not one of these chicks who will test every stinkin' day till they get an answer. No way. Late Thursday night I sat in the floor of our empty nursery and I just prayed and cried and prayed and cried... wanting to fill that room so badly. But as much as we prayed for a positive result, I was just like, "huh, OK" when we saw the negative Friday morning. I really think the not-knowing is harder than knowing it didn't work.

But the thing is, we still don't freakin' know for sure. I was due to welcome Aunt Flo (nasty though she is) on Sunday. So the plan was to re-test on Monday morning if she didn't arrive by then. She didn't and we tested... negative again (15 DPO). So now it's getting annoying. Thing is, I'm feeling very much like I did two months ago when we did get pregnant - so that is quite a tease. I guess my symptoms are mostly due to my meds and hormones.

Well Flo STILL is not here. I'm on CD (cycle day) 31, so being this late is unsual, but not completely unheard of in my case. I typically have 28-29 day cylces. So the plan is to test again tomorrow morning if she doesn't show, and call my doctor either way. We're actually supposed to have a consult with him Thursday, in the event this didn't work, to discuss a more aggressive approach for next cycle. Well that's great and all, but I still don't freaking know what's going on with this one! Yeah, I realize I should know by now and it's probably a dud and my cycle's just late. But I always cling to the chance - however small - that it may still have worked and I just don't have enough HCG in my system yet to show up on a pee stick.

I woke up early this morning - I think it was around 3am - and had some pretty good cramping. I was like, oh OK... here she comes. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. But when I got up later this morning? No sign of starting. Cramps gone. And I've been cramping on and off for the past several days, but I really thought these were the real thing. So who the heck knows...

I honestly am cool with either answer at this point - I just WANT an answer. Yes, I think there's still hope. Although most women test positive by this time, there are a number of those who don't get positive reads until later. But I'm also realistic and am totally prepared to start this whole process over again in a few days. So anyway... I'd love it if you guys would just pray for us to have patience and also peace about the whole thing. I'm just in an "irritated" sort of mood about it all right now. PMS maybe? Ha!

Hopefully I'll have some real answers for ya soon!

Oh and on another note - Phoebe is being repaired and will be good as new! I was so excited that our insurance company didn't total her. And it worked out to where we really won't have to come out-of-pocket at all on the cost! Such great news!

A dose of Harry and Billie Joe

So last night we went to see Harry Potter on IMAX - they finally booted Transformers off the screen this week and let Harry have his reign. It was so fun to see it again and catch things I didn't catch the first go around. Plus, the first few scenes are in 3D on the IMAX version, which was really cool - you really felt like you were *in* the movie. Good stuffs! We also were feeling crazy and ended up seeing The Hangover immediately after. Actually Lucky's hubby-to-be talked us into it. Ridiculously hilarious... and I don't think I've ever heard the hub squeal quite like that. A must see, for sure.

Tonight... in just a few minutes actually... we're heading out to see Green Day! They are pretty much my favorite band ever. I always go when they come to town, so of course I'm there!!! They're awesome as is, but they always put on a great show. Every concert of theirs I've been to, they end up pulling up three kids on stage to play the instruments for one of the songs while Billie Joe does the vocals. What a thrill for those kids.... and he always gives his guitar to the kid who played lead. So precious!

And I don't know why he does it for me, but I'm just mesmerized when Billie Joe is singing on stage. I become a total 12 year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert. OK maybe not that bad... But isn't he the cutest little rock n' roll guy?

OK y'all are thinking, um no. (I know bestest thinks I'm nuts.) And he's totally not my type in the real world... but in my fantasy rock world, he's top notch. He totally rocks those tight pants. He's probably smaller than me - he's a tiny little thing. I'd like to bottle him up and take him with me places. I have a thing for punk and glam rockers. David Bowie totally makes me swoon. I know, I'm weird. But I'm OK with that.

Anyway, so I've been blasting all my Green Day CD's in the house all day today to get geared up. Soooooo excited!!!