A Very Merry Christmas

This Christmas certainly is a special one.  Anticipating Sam's arrival in just a few weeks has us all excited!  The holidays, while I always love them regardless, can be tough when you're in the thick of the infertility battle.  Every year there for a while I wondered how many more Christmases we'd have to endure without a child of our own.  Again, I'm no Scrooge... I still loved every minute of every Christmas the hub and I have shared together, but I'd be lying if I said there hadn't been a hollow spot in my heart all those years.  So being pregnant during this season has been a true blessing.  There are such exciting things to come in the New Year.

But this Christmas is so much bigger than that...  It is extra meaningful this year because of the story of another sweet baby.  If you haven't had the privilege of reading about sweet Hallie Lynn Green, please take a quiet moment over the Christmas holidays to let her story into your heart.  Hallie's mom, Katie, and I have several mutual friends, but we've only met a couple of times - I'm not even sure she'd remember me.  But through her special little girl, she and her husband have touched SO many lives this Christmas.

I'm sure my hormones are half to blame, but I've shed more tears over this little angel and her family in the last week than I can remember.  Tears of sorrow, but also tears of joy.  Joy for the miracle of this little life that has touched countless souls over just a few short days.  Little Hallie came in to this world and did more in her sweet little life to further God's Kingdom than most people can hope for in a lifetime.  I hope you will take a moment to learn about her and pray over her sweet family.  You can follow her story here.  At tonight's Christmas Eve service we were reminded that Jesus was and is the light of the world.  How bright he shined through Hallie's life here.

[Short pause while I wipe my swollen eyes and blow my runny nose.]

I hope you and your family have a wonderful Christmas!  We are certainly enjoying our time together with family and friends this weekend.  Presents are wrapped and waiting, the family (and doggies) are all snug in their beds... Now I better get to sleep before Santa realizes I'm still up...  yikes!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Flash Mob

This is pretty cute... over 1600 high schoolers from all four campuses of our church are in Panama City Beach this week and they attempted to break the record for the largest flash mob!

Myth: If you're infertile, you don't deserve a child.

Earlier this year I was visiting with a sweet friend who had just received news that her first donor egg IVF cycle didn't work. She was of course devastated and unsure of what to think. We cried over the sadness of it all, laughed over the ridiculous stuff we go through, and wondered where one goes from here. But one thing she said to me, through tears, that has haunted me ever since was this... "Do you ever think, that maybe I don't deserve to have a baby?"

Those words broke my heart. My initial thought was, how could you think that?! Of course you deserve it! But as the hours passed, and even days later, I still found myself thinking about it. Because the truth is, all of us infertiles have felt this way at one time or another. Maybe it was only a fleeting thought, but I doubt there's anyone out there dealing with infertility that's never found themselves asking this very question. Do I even deserve to be a mom?

Well I could go on for pages and pages arguing that no one really deserves to be a mom. So maybe "deserve" is the wrong word. But it's so very easy to trap ourselves in this way of thinking. A woman can't help but feel a sense of shame when her body's not able to do the very thing it was created to do. Infertility is found all over the Bible and with it lots of sorrow, ridicule, jealousy, anger, and disbelief. "Shame" hardly covers it. Some chapters even speak of God closing a woman's womb for one reason or another... so it's no big surprise that we all find ourselves asking if we have done something wrong here. Am I being punished somehow?

Girls, please don't believe this lie. It's nothing short of the devil's work. His #1 mission is to turn our hearts away from God and he'll use anything to plant these lies in our fragile minds. It could be something as simple as a well-meaning friend saying, "well, maybe it isn't meant to be." And the thought festers and festers and we start questioning our every action. Am I wasting my time and money here? There must be a reason I'm not getting pregnant. God must be angry with me. What did I do wrong? Does God even hear me?

I know we all have asked these questions and some of us have struggled to find answers. Well, here's what I believe... God doesn't use infertility to punish us. And God doesn't use fertility to reward us. We live in a broken world and people will continue to have babies - people who "deserve" them (by our own standards) and people who don't. But I do know that God uses infertility to grow our faith. He uses it (and any other big struggle in life - you fill in the blank) to draw us closer to Him. C.S. Lewis wrote that "God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain."

My husband and I are still in the thick of the battle, but I can faithfully say that this journey has already blessed us. I have been connected with other women struggling - people I never would've come across otherwise. God has placed some amazing people in my life to walk along with as we fight on. And He has opened my heart in tremendous ways. I grew up in a Christian home and have always been surrounded by the church, but never before has my faith been on fire like it has been over the last five years. And of course there are ups and downs, even in the good seasons, but I know my God is on this journey with me. It's not about whether I deserve this or not. He knows the desires of my heart because he placed them there, and He hurts along with me. I believe that God has not only used infertility to grow my own faith, but the faith of others as well. Throughout the Bible, God continually uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things. He works through people. I never would've chosen this path for us, but if God wants to use this journey to do a great work in me and possibly others, how can I not praise Him for that?

I certainly don't presume everyone believes what I believe. Whatever you believe, please don't let anyone make you feel like you somehow don't deserve to have a child. Look around you - it's obviously not a qualification for parenthood! But if you do find yourself completely consumed with this lie... even if it's just one random night in bed when you're trying to fall asleep... try calling on Jesus to kick the devil's ass to the curb. I honestly have to do this a lot. And it works every time.

Truth: If infertility is part of your story, remember it's just that. It's part of your story, not your entire story. God can see the bigger picture and he does not make us wait without reason. So continue to seek Him and praise Him and know that He has incredible blessings in store for you.





Please click here for more myth-busting posts and more information on National Infertility Awareness Week.

For more general information on infertility, please visit Resolve.

FET Update on Good Friday!

Ahhh... I've been away from the computer for three whole days. I didn't even log in to online banking for like a 48 hour period - that's got to be a personal record. My mom and I took a girls' trip over to Birmingham this week as a post-tax-season getaway. We had a fabulous time! We stayed at a great B&B right in town (the ONLY one in town, actually) and had a fun couple of days exploring the city. Our best discovery while there? This amazing spice store - Penzey's! I had never heard of it before. We were in there over an hour sniffing away and loading our baskets. Why Atlanta doesn't have one of these, I don't know - but one of the ladies there who helped us said they're looking for a spot in Atlanta! Oh, yes, please come!!!

I also left my Moo Goo diet behind as soon as we crossed the state line. I seriously ate more bread in the last three days than I have in the last six months. No for real - that is not an exaggeration. I ate ridiculous amounts of gluten and dairy-full goodness. But vacation's over and I'm going to be good now! I've got to get my oven bake-ready, so I'm really going to be good. After one final hoorah last night over margaritas with the hub, I'm going to stick to my guns going forward.

So yesterday was officially FET cycle day #1 (hence my need to get back on the wagon)! I called my nurse while on the road back to Atlanta. They sent me my protocol info for all my meds. And our transfer is scheduled for Wednesday, May 11th!!! Wow, less than three weeks now. I stay on Lupron right up until the transfer, but they cut my dose back to 5 units (was on 10 units). So I did my first dose of 5 units this morning. I also start the Estrace (estrogen) today. The dosage will go up little by little, but right now I'm doing 1mg by mouth in the morning, and 2mg vaginally at night. Yep, that's just as fun as it sounds - but nothing I'm not used to.

My ultrasound to check my lining will be Monday, May 2nd. We're really praying for some fabulous lining here! I know I will be a bit anxious that morning to see how I measure up, as this has always been a weak area for me. And then the progesterone shots with the big-ass needles should begin later that week. Exciting stuff!

The only thing not-so-exciting about all this is the extra fluff around my belly. I've already gained 5lbs (and I'm sure my calorie fest over the last couple of days will only help matters!) and now that I'm starting the Estrace, I'll really start puffing up. So yeah, I've totally been hiding under "blousy" tops lately. Which is tough considering 75% of my spring and summer wardrobe is made up of form-fitting tanks. So basically I keep rotating the same three boring outfits. Whatever... it's all worth it!

I hope you all have an excellent GOOD FRIDAY! We'll be at Gwinnett Church tonight for the church's first official service! Super exciting... we had a gathering last night with all the volunteers for this weekend. Had to be over 200 people there! We're all looking forward to seeing how many people come this weekend. We just have no idea! There are about 1,100 seats set up with room for more. The hub thinks there will be standing room only - I hope he's right! So excited to be a part of this church from the very beginning. And while I'd love to sport a cute Lilly dress for Easter Sunday, I have to admit I'm glad to hide my FET belly behind this T-shirt...



Locals... click below for info on services for this weekend! It's going to be incredible, so come join us!

The Boob Tube

Hey guess what!  No, not that.  I gave up television today.  Not for good, but for 40 days.  And no, not for Lent - our church doesn't observe Lent.  As I've mentioned before, North Point Community Church is launching a new campus this fall in Gwinnett!  We are having Good Friday and Easter services as a kick-off and the church is getting everyone involved in 40 days of prayer and fasting to lead into Easter weekend.  Thanks to my Moo Goo diet, there's really nothing else food or drink-wise that I haven't already eliminated.  Some people give up Facebook, but honestly I'm rarely ever on there so that's no real sacrifice.  TV was the only thing I could think of that would really suck to give up. 

 

I don't watch a ton of TV, but it's basically always on in our house.  Background noise.  And then I do have my shows that I absolutely look forward to every week.  And I'm not allowing myself to watch internet TV either... no Hulu shows.  No TV shows, period.  And no DVD's...  Anything on the tube is prohibited!  This should be interesting. 

 

As far as the new church, the permanent location will be about 10 minutes from our house!  We currently drive a good half hour to get to Buckhead Church (another campus), so that will be a welcome change.  But we'll be in a temporary spot for 2 or 3 years, most likely at the Gwinnett Center.  And this is where the Good Friday and Easter services will be held!  If you are in the area, come check us out!  Even if you attend other campuses, consider joining us for Good Friday.  Buckhead has done Good Friday services for as long as I can remember and they're incredibly powerful, so I expect nothing less from Gwinnett Church.  Click here for service times and details. 

 

I know a lot of you out there observe Lent... what kinds of things have you sacrificed this season?

A Few Goals for 2011

While I'm grateful to be back to 100% after my surgery two weeks ago, it looks like my 3 month hibernation from society has officially begun.  Every year I think, "Oh, I'll totally be able to get everything done I normally do during tax season."  And every year I fail - as if that's surprising.  This is my... 12th tax season.  You'd think I'd have figured it out by now.  So while I have several bloggy ideas floating in my head at any given time, I find it harder and harder to get on here as we approach those big tax deadlines.  I'll do my best to get a couple of posts up each week, but working an extra 2-3 hours a day just leaves me in a comatose state when I get home at night - no matter what time it is.  And seriously, the last thing I want to do is get BACK on the 'puter after staring at four screens for 10 hours straight.

 

But wow, it's already February and I haven't shared any of our big goals for the year.  We're always kind of slow to get them figured out and down on paper, but we've got some good ones for 2011.  We tried really hard to nail down at least one goal (as a couple or individually) in each of these categories:

 

- Financial Goals

- Professional Goals

- Personal Development Goals

- Marriage & Family Goals

- Physical Goals

- Spiritual Goals

- Social & Community Goals

 

So here are just a few of our personal goals for 2011 that I wanted to share...

 

1.  Financial:  We will get our debt snowball down to the last debt on our list, the hub's student loan. 

 

Predicting exactly when we'll be done with our debt snowball is tricky since our income fluctuates each month, plus *hopefully* we'll be forced to temporarily stop our snowball later this year to stash away cash for maternity leave.  But we feel very confident that we can hack through everything that is in front of that last big debt by the end of the year.  Also, a piggyback goal to this one... depending on our income levels in 2011, we may have to add our HELOC to our debt snowball.  Normally, a 2nd mortgage or HELOC is paid off in Baby Step #6 on Dave's plan, but if the balance is less than half of your annual income, you add it to your consumer debt snowball in Baby Step #2.  It would definitely drag out Step #2 (and therefore drag out our rice and beans lifestyle a bit longer), but it would have a HUGE long-term payoff if we were able to do that.  So while we're VERY ready to get past Step #2, we hope that our income will be great enough to require us to stick with it a little longer.

 

2.  Personal Development:  I will read 50 non-fiction books in 2011.

 

Y'all have already heard this one... I initially had it for 25 books, but with the pace I was setting in January, I decided to be brave and double that goal.  Tax season will probably slow me down some, but I'm still confident I can get 50 books under my belt this year.  I just finished my 5th yesterday.  So why non-fiction?  It's purely about growing my brain and also growing my faith.  So yeah, this double dips as a spiritual goal too.  A lot of the books I'm reading are faith-based, but many are personal finance or business books.  I've had a lot of these books on my list of good intentions for a long time and I decided 2011 is the time to make it happen.  Charlie "Tremendous" Jones said, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read."  So there you have it.  I don't want to be the same person in five years.  I want to be a better, wiser, stronger version of me.

 

3.  Spiritual:  I will read through the entire Bible in 2011.

 

Yeah, y'all know about this one too.  I began reading just before Christmas to get a good jump-start.  I am using The One Year Bible on my Kindle and am loving it (revisit this post for more on this particular Bible).  I really thought I would just make a goal of regularly reading through the Bible, like 5 days a week.  And I wouldn't give myself a hard time about finishing it in 365 days.  But after starting it, I found it SO easy to fit in the reading each day.  And I also keep a notebook where I jot down the "synopsis" of each day's passages along with any verses that strike me or questions that arise.  I feel silly for thinking this was going to be a chore.  It has been an incredible joy.  I know most of the big Bible stories, but it's been SO long since I read them all in great detail.  So I decided to forget being passive about it and declare that I would indeed get the job done in 2011.  I'm right on track.

 

4.  Professional:  I will begin writing a book on struggling with infertility this year.

 

I don't know how the hell to do this one, but I'm just going to fly by the seat of my pants here.  Whether this will be a published work at some point, God only knows.  But it's something that's been swimming around in my head for a couple of years and I figure, what better time to start than when I'm in the thick of it?  Not that I think my hurt and fear will be forgotten if and when our dreams of parenthood come true, but I want to document those feelings now while I'm facing them.  And hopefully be able to reflect back once I've overcome them.  There's not enough good information on struggling with infertility and I feel led to contribute somehow, so perhaps this is a big first step.  My goal is to have a rough draft by the end of 2011.  Probably really rough, but we'll see.

 

5.  Spiritual/Social:  We will use $30 once a month to bless a friend or neighbor.

 

You've heard me talk about how big our hearts are for giving.  The hub and I love, love, love it and can't wait to have the financial means to give in big ways later on.  But for now, we are pretty much restricted to tithing while working our debt snowball.  Though, the other day I thought of an idea for a particular friend... just a small little unexpected gift that I knew would bring a smile.  And then I thought, why not do this every month?  $30 is not a lot.  But $30 well spent can lift a spirit.  And shouldn't we all be in the spirit-lifting business?  I'm excited to see where this goal takes us this year.

 

 

How are YOUR goals coming along?

Book Review: Sex and the Soul of a Woman

I've been flying through books this month, so I've decided to up my personal reading challenge for 2011. I was originally pledging to read 25 non-fiction books this year, but at the rate I'm going, I doubled it to 50! Quite a goal... but easily attainable if I keep this pace. For whatever reason, I have this incredible thirst right now for knowledge and wisdom - whether it's for spiritual growth or learning more about personal finances... I just can't get enough! So uh, expect more book reviews. And don't forget to come be my buddy on Goodreads if you're a reader too!

The title of this latest book has you curious, doesn't it?! As you may or may not remember, the hub and I are mentors with the pre-marital program at our church. We're basically paired up with one couple at a time and work through an 8-week "course" with them, preparing them for the great adventure that is marriage. One of the subjects we tackle is of course sex and intimacy. I'm sure that's frightening for some, but it's actually an awesome, awesome session. One of the brides-to-be we mentored mentioned this particular book to us, saying it had completely opened her eyes to God's intentions with sex and the sacred beauty that is female sexuality. Christians are always hammered with the no-sex-outside-of-marriage idea. It's just one of those line items on the list of things "good Christians" don't do. But, why? I had answers, but I wanted more. Months later, I recalled this particular bride's recommendation and ordered a copy of Paula Rinehart's "Sex and the Soul of a Woman."




"If sex is a fire, God brought the matches." That's one of my all-time favorite quotes from our pastor at church. We so often want to exclude God from any definition of sex, but he created it. And who knows more about sex than its creator? Yes, this book helps the reader understand why God put boundaries around sex. But Rinehart doesn't deny women's sexuality. "Nothing on the planet is more essentially our birthright than our sexuality - the pleasure and beauty of being female." But she goes on to argue that when sex occurs outside the bonds of marriage, it is cheapened.

Everywhere you look, it seems as though society is telling women that they need to toughen up and behave like men. We should be able to have multiple sex partners freely without feeling a thing. So then you have young women everywhere attempting to amputate their heart from sexual relationships. Sure, you may ultimately become numb to feeling anything... but it's not possible for a woman to only be physical with no strings attached. And as Rinehart explains in great depth in her book, God intended it that way. "God made women to experience the joy of lasting, enduring relationships with men. That we cannot deaden our heart successfully is the best apologetic I know for the truth of how God made us."

Opening your heart and mind to the idea that God wants nothing but the best for you is the first step in understanding God's intentions here. "If you can sense the great, good heart of God in this, you will understand why his desire is to reserve this sort of intimacy as the one place of human sanctuary in your life where nothing but blessing touches you." Sex was created as the "superglue of the soul." God's not trying to rob of us something, he's trying to preserve something incredible for us. Yet most of us, in our best attempt to be "normal," just do what feels right. I mean, everyone's doing it, right?!

Yeah well, look how screwed up the world is. Maybe we shouldn't be taking our cues from Hollywood or even our peers. They had a segment on the Today Show this morning asking if marriage was becoming obsolete, in reference to all the recent Hollywood starlets getting knocked up before getting married. Seriously? I can just see God doing a huge eye roll from his throne. But truthfully, I think it breaks his heart. What we do with our bodies does matter - it matters to God. "Understanding how a man and a woman are bonded in the sexual experience is really built on the significance of the body itself," says Rinehart. "The living God revealed himself in a body, and what we do with our bodies matters." Wow. Convicted, much?

I truly loved this book. It's not just about explaining the boundaries around sex and why they exist. It introduces and expands on God's greatest desires for us, what sex is really meant to be, and guides us through beginning to heal our hearts from our sexual pasts. And most importantly, we learn how truly powerful our sexuality is as a woman. "The beauty, allure, and sexual power you hold as a woman are holy things. They can bless beyond your wildest dreams or, as the biblical writer of the ancient proverbs observed, destroy everything you hold dear. The choice is yours. How will you use your power?"

The last few chapters discuss being able to recognize and love a truly good man. The thing is, sex outside of marriage clouds our judgment. We expect too little from men. "Allowing sex to be part of a dating relationship invites men to be their worst selves." It's not only cheating ourselves, but it's also disrespectful to the guys too. Rinehart says that men will rise to the level of our expectations. They are capable of much more.

I've always felt heavily convicted when it comes to sexual boundaries, but now I have a much better understanding of their spiritual significance. And it has nothing to do with unwanted pregnancies or STD's. All I can say is, where the hell was this book 20 years ago? This should be required reading for every pre-teen girl. Yes, it's a mature read, but I think it's a perfect book for a mother and daughter to read through together. What a GREAT way to open a good dialogue with your daughter about sex. Yes, they'll probably learn the mechanics in school and maybe even be encouraged to "abstain." But help them understand why their sexuality is so sacred and worth protecting. It's directly connected to their soul, their God.

Every woman should read this book. I'm grateful for what I've learned from this book. Heck, if we have a boy someday I'm going to make him read this. He needs to understand the value of a woman. Shoot, this should be required reading for anyone breathing. There are few subjects more sacred.


Next Up: "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert T. Kiyosaki

Previous: "48 Days to the Work You Love" by Dan Miller

A Social Network Christmas

I know the Christmas fanfare is over (sniff!) but take a few to watch this awesome video depicting Jesus' birth if it had happened in the days of Facebook. Sounds corny, but my SIL showed this to me and I had to hold back the tears. So creative...



I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas weekend! We sure did. And we got a WHITE one! Lots to come this week including more recipes. Are you gearing up for 2011?!

Open your Bibles...

So I totally started my one "New Year's Resolution" early.  Like yesterday.  I told y'all, as part of my book craze and goals for 2011, I downloaded The One Year Bible for my Kindle.  It's a read-the-Bible-in-one-year kinda thing, hence the name.  And it starts you on January 1st, so I figured this would be an excellent goal for the New Year.  But I couldn't wait.  I totally started it yesterday before work.  But I am so glad I did because it had me reading the Christmas story as part of day 1!  What perfect timing.  It was Matthew's account of Jesus' birth, so it was more matter-of-fact, but it still had me tearing up. 

 

I know I'm only two days in, but I'm already in love with this reading plan.  Lots of Bibles provide "reading plans" in the back of the book so that you read it all in one year, two years, whatever.  But The One Year Bible is most excellent because it gives you a selection from four different books everyday, but you don't have to go digging for them.  It's all laid out for you, day by day.  The Bible is very intimidating if you don't know your way around it - so this is perfect for a newbie!  Plus you don't have to do it in one year.  It tells you how to stretch it out into a two-year or even a four-year plan if need be.

 

After I initially mentioned my one-year reading goal, my bestest asked for suggestions on Bibles.  I am by NO means an expert, but I'll tell you what I like to use.  I have a basic Bible on my Kindle (English Standard Version - I think it was a freebie) that I use at church.  My Kindle's on me all the time so I don't have to think to grab my Bible on the way out the door to church.  And the cool thing about Kindles is that the screen does not light up like a phone or iPad screen - so it's not at all distracting to the people sitting around you.  Because yes, if your something lights up, it's totally distracting. 

 

For studying and as a companion with small group studies, etc, I use my Starting Point Bible.  This Bible has lots of great extras, including some really good reading plans, but what I love most about it is the introductions written for each and every book in the Bible.  Awesome, awesome, awesome.  Before each book begins, there is a great introduction explaining who wrote the book, who it was written for, what was going on in the world at the time, what the central message of the book is, and when it was presumed to have been written.  Maybe it's just me, but that just takes the Bible to a completely new level.  I guess it just makes it more "real" or something.  More personal. 

 

So yeah, as I'm reading through The One Year Bible, I've got my Starting Point Bible at my side so I can read the appropriate introduction each time I start a new book.  I highly recommend both of those.  I know there are lots of other great study Bibles out there that have some fabulous footnotes.  One of my friends has one where the footnotes literally take up half of each page.  The Life Application Study Bible maybe?  Don't have one myself but it's apparently a popular one.  I went to a Christian school, so I had many a student Bible but I don't remember a one.  I was probably more focused on my current crush at the time.  Priorities!

 

It's the most popular book of all time, so what's your favorite Bible?

 

On a completely different note, my new obsession is mint hot tea.  I met a new friend at Starbucks a couple of weeks ago and I was stumped on what I should order.  Sbux is not very Moo Goo friendly - their only non-dairy option is soy, which I learned the hard way I do NOT tolerate well.  BTW, Starbucks, it's ridiculous that soy is your only non-dairy option.  So many people are allergic to or intolerant of soy.  Get some almond milk or something!  Geez.  ANYway, so I opted for one of their decaf teas.  They were out of like half of them and so I settled on the Tazo Refresh blend.  I added some honey and oh my - SO delish!  So I've been looking and looking for this blend at the grocery (most of ours sell Tazo teas) but I have yet to find the Refresh blend.  But the other day I noticed a Peppermint herbal tea from Bigelow.  *Sniff* - it smells like the Sbux variety.  Well, I'm drinking some now and it's darn near close!  Great for a sniffly nose too - which I'm often sporting this time of year.  It clears up the sinuses a bit.  Give it a try if you're looking for something new!

Book Review: Questioning Evangelism

As promised, I'll be reviewing each of the books I get through as part of my read-lots-more endeavor. Are you on the edge of your seat? I know you are! Last week I finished up "Questioning Evangelism" by Randy Newman. No, not the Randy Newman that writes feel-good Disney songs. This is Christian author and long-time Campus Crusader, Randy Newman.

The hub and I were actually given this book months ago at church and I finally picked it up to read recently. The title can be a little confusing. Well, at least it was for me - you're probably smarter than I am. At first glance I thought it referred to questioning the act of evangelism. But within the first page I realized this book was about using questions when practicing evangelism. Randy's introduction begins, "You may think this book is just plain weird." Good point, I think. If you're a brand new Christian or tend to have a more "politically correct" view of religion, this book may freak you out a bit. Shoot, just the word "evangelism" scares the hell out of some people. But the book addresses a lot of the common secular world attacks on the Christian faith and how to answer them - or better yet, how to come back with a more engaging question rather than a straight, conversation-ending answer.

For example, so many people - even Christians - get hung up on the claim that we can only get to God through Jesus. Randy responds, "Try asking nonbelievers, 'If Jesus is not the only way to salvation, why, then, did he have to die?' You'll likely draw blank stares or create tied tongues. But until one understands the answer to that question, one will not see the reasonableness of Jesus' 'I am the way' claim."

Perhaps Randy's greatest point throughout the book is that many of our quick answers to accusations about Christianity and the Bible "fail to compel belief because they fail to address the real issue." We have to dig a little, with questions, to get at the root of what people are after. Not everyone's after a history lesson. Some people are hurting and they're looking for justification for their anger. Some people are searching for a reason to hope. And many people, even though they're asking questions, aren't ready for answers. They're more interested in getting their objections out than understanding; they're not willing to listen. Randy says, "Until someone is more interested in truth than in airing his or her own opinions, it's best to talk about the weather."

More than anything, this book is about successfully relating to people when it comes to sharing God's word. With chapter titles like "If Jesus Is So Great, Why Are Some of His Followers Such Jerks?" Randy addresses a lot of the big obstacles that stand between believers and nonbelievers. And he obviously does so with a fair dose of humor. From his table of contents, you'll see that he tackles a lot of the big items addressed by books like The Case for Faith, so the book definitely touches on the importance of apologetics but kind of already assumes the reader knows his stuff. But no matter the questions we receive, whether genuine or masking anger, this book proposes that we be "more engaging and less confrontational in our sharing of the Good News."

I think Christians should definitely put this book on their short list - lots of great ideas and advice here. It's especially great for people who aren't really sure how to go about sharing their faith or how to answer questions that may come their way. I know I'm totally one of those... as confident as I am in my own faith, I'm not always so sure how to communicate it or defend it, so it definitely was a great read for me personally. If that's you, I'd definitely grab this book. It's an easy read with lots of good meat. If any of you have also read this book, I'd love to know your thoughts!

Next Up: "48 Days to the Work You Love" by Dan Miller

iLove it.

I tried to get this video up yesterday, but youtube was crapping out on me. Our church opened up with this last Sunday at the main campus - a few Christmas tunes done completely with iPhone and iPad apps. The local news even had a spot about it last night. If you don't have time to watch the whole thing, fast forward to the 5:00 min mark to catch Feliz Navidad. Pretty amazing!



Hope your weekend is full of Christmas cheer! We've got two parties lined up to get our jolly on. Have a good one!

Protect your heart, for it is precious.

Round #3 - check! Oh we are gettin' good at this. The hub actually did my Menopur injection last night (prepped and pricked) and for whatever reason it hurt like hell! That one usually does sting a bit when inserting the actual meds... but geez. I'm tough though, I can handle it! There is so much poking and prodding that we stirrup fanatics go through. I mean, getting my annual at my OB/GYN is like grabbing a cup of coffee. It ain't nothin'. But I have to say the most painful "procedure" I've been through during this whole process wasn't even specifically IF related. It was getting catheterized after my first surgery. I had a catheter in during surgery of course, but before you can leave the hospital you have to be able to pee. After several attempts, I could not do it. And I needed to go really bad eventually. Now that is down right terrifying and incredibly frustrating - needing to pee like mad and not being able to! So they ended up having to redo the catheter. I was already tired and really achy from surgery that morning and that procedure was the last straw. Total tears. Longest. Day. Ever.

And there have been lots of unpleasant dates with the stirrups over the years. I love how doctors and nurses use words like "pressure" and "uncomfortable" instead of down right saying "this is gonna hurt like hell and you're gonna want to bitch slap me!" And not to mention the fact that you're in like the most vulnerable position possible. The doctor's so far up in your girly parts you can't even see him. Super fun! Ahhh... but the hub and I just try to keep our eye on the prize. Friends of ours that have traveled the same road and now have little miracle babies tell us they'd do it all again in a heartbeat. ALL of it. It's so not the road any of us ever imagined taking to have children, but hey, sometimes life takes a detour. There's nothing romantic about conceiving with a catheter on an exam table. But God bless the doctors that know how to do this stuff!

So why am I telling y'all all this gross stuff? I don't know... mostly, I'm rambling. But also, this month marks 5 years that we've officially been trying to conceive. So in those five years, I've been through pretty much every test/procedure in the IF world... not all, but surely most. So please always feel free to ask me any questions if you find yourself wandering down the same path. Comment here any time, drop me an email, or DM me on twitter. Duh, I'm obviously open about this junk so no question is stupid! I've been so grateful for the people God has put in my life to walk with me through all this. Support from friends and family is so crucial, but it also REALLY helps to have that friend who has really been there. Unfortunately, the scars of infertility are just impossible to really understand unless you've suffered through it yourself. How do you impress upon someone the emotional and spiritual struggle that comes along with it? I used to turn my nose up at girls who "couldn't handle" going to a baby shower because they weren't able to get pregnant themselves. I mean, how selfish and ridiculous! Even in the beginning of my struggle I vowed to never be "that girl." HA! Now I avoid baby showers and kids' parties like the plague! It is truly a daily battle to fight that inner voice (the devil no doubt) that says I'm less of a woman and it's never going to happen for me and I'm disappointing everyone around me. It's impossible to make someone understand that - someone who hasn't fought that same fight before. So many girls keep the struggle to themselves - and that breaks my heart. It's so easy for infertility to become a stronghold on your heart if you let it. Please don't let it!

It will swallow you whole if you allow it. It will take your friendships. It will kill your marriage. All it takes is time. So suit up and say NO! Surround yourself with positive and supportive people and share your journey with them. Take pride in the fact that you and your spouse ARE a family. Children are a great addition, but you are already a family. Seek out someone who has been where you are going and survived to tell the tale! And most importantly, protect your heart by arming yourself with the most powerful weapons of all... God's word and prayer. That is the only true path to peace with all this junk.

"As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me; your help has made me great. You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way." - Psalm 18:30-36

Well, shit. Now I'm crying at work and I seriously don't know how I got here. I was planning to tell y'all about my weird egg dream and look where we landed instead! Whatever - so goes my brain these days. I have had some wacko dreams lately and will have to post about those later. Another round of meds tonight and then an ultrasound tomorrow to see how I'm responding so far! I'll let you know what I find out...

Current Mood: Grateful (and obviously mental)

Amazing Grace? Amazing Book.

I just finished this book early last week for our couples' small group meeting last Thursday. We usually do studies that take place over several weeks, but this time we did a "book club" like meeting discussing Philip Yancey's "What's So Amazing About Grace?" If the idea of reading a Christian book freaks you out, this is a great one to start with. It's not a new book, but it was new to me. It's one of the best books I've ever read. The author is so real and honest about his own struggles with comprehending God's grace. He has so many real world stories and examples that remind us what a truly grace-less world we live in.

This book would speak to anyone and everyone I imagine, but I think it's especially powerful if you're someone who has struggled with forgiveness. Especially letting go of that stronghold that someone from your past has had on you. He speaks a lot to finding the strength to forgive the most undeserving, but also to living a life with an attitude of grace in general. In the second half, Yancey digs deeply into how the Christian image has been severely damaged by churches, politicians, and extremists' total lack of grace. How quickly we forget that Jesus didn't hang out with the righteous; he dined with and kept the company of sinners. He was love and grace personified.

There are so many fantastic quotable lines in this book, but my absolute favorite...

"There is nothing we can do to make God love us more.

There is nothing we can do to make God love us less."

So many people, even Christians, have the misconception that our salvation is dependent on what we do. If that's you, please read this book. Every one of us thirsts for grace. And here God is, waiting for us with his arms wide open. "God's arms are always extended; we are the ones who turn away."

Finding Contentment

“There is no end of craving. Hence contentment alone is the best way to happiness. Therefore, acquire contentment.” - Swami Sivananda

So I was listening to a bunch of debt-free screams on the Dave Ramsey Show today in my car while driving back from acupuncture. Dave often asks the callers what the hardest part of their journey was or what was their "key" to getting out of debt. There are lots of common answers... learning to say "no," sticking to a budget, working together with your spouse, for example. As I'm listening to these callers, I'm always imagining what the hub and I will say when we finally get to call in and scream. I think the hardest part and the easiest part -and certainly the most necessary part - of our debt-free mission is the monthly budget. But at the heart of it, I think the real key for us has been finding true contentment.

I've had satisfaction and contentment in my head a lot lately as the Beth Moore study I'm doing (with my girls' small group) is focusing this week on finding ultimate satisfaction in God. So I really have to credit God with my ability to be so content with where we are and what we have. You'll constantly see me joking about the decisions "old me" would've made versus the "new me." Because my world focus is so different than it was two years ago. You can see it spelled out in my blog... thumb back through my content from the first year or so and there's a lot of jibber jabber about shopping and the latest and greatest hot new item that I'm wanting. But over these last 24 months, you'll have to do a fair amount of digging to find much of anything devoted to shopping. Simply because I've barely been shopping in the last two years! I mean, seriously... you remember my shopping tally from 2009? As in total dollars spent shopping for myself? $45.57. Old me would've spent that much in a skinny minute on a random Tuesday afternoon without blinking.

I honestly can only point to God's intervention when it comes to my learning how to say NO. I've said it a million times, but when we made the decision as husband and wife to turn our finances around, get on a budget, and do this money thing the right way, we didn't look back. It was not an overnight success. It was very hard. But month after month, I began to trust God more and more and more. I could see him working and my faith got bigger. And somewhere along the way, saying NO was no longer hard to do. I'm not sure where exactly along the road it happened, but I'm just not at all tempted by new and shiny things anymore... whether they be shoes or furniture or cars or anything.

I think this change happened for several reasons. First, through this process, we've really learned the value of the dollar. We do all of our discretionary spending in cash. As in dollar bills. We do this because (a) we've found it's the only way to really stick to the budget and (b) when you use cash, it hurts more, so you therefore spend less. (This has been scientifically proven and is also, on the flip side, why fast food joints started taking cards.) Handing over cold hard cash is a lot harder than swiping a card. You can bet your britches I know my total before I get to the cash register, no matter where I am.

The second reason I think I've really found contentment is the fact that the hub and I are so focused on our goals. We constantly have our eye on the prize. Our debt snowball is taped to our bathroom mirror. It's there every day, staring us in the face. Dave said, "When something is important to you, you will move Heaven and earth to make it happen." Well, this is the most important thing to us right now - becoming debt-free. So spending money on things like shoes, which I already have a million of, seems ridiculous and I'm not even tempted. In fact many things I used to find so much value in somehow made their way over to ebay. I've learned that cash in my pocket is better.

The funny thing is, after two years of learning to rewire my thinking, I now have a hard time shopping when I actually do have money to spend. Whereas before, any little trinket that caught my eye would do... now it's a very well thought out process. Lots of weighing opportunity cost. OK, I've only got this $50... I've got to make it count! And don't you know I'll stretch that $50 as far as humanly possible. We set aside some money for the hub to get some new clothes for his new job this month. It felt SO weird to be shopping. Not a guilty feeling, just weird. Unfamiliar. And the way we approach a shopping trip is so vastly different than it was before.

But whether we can afford to shop in a given month or not, I must say that true contentment is nothing short of priceless. More now than ever, I realize chasing after the latest "must-have" item never truly satisfies. Solomon had it right... it's all so "meaningless." But don't get me wrong, girls... there's nothing wrong with shopping till you drop. If you've got the cash, go for it! There will be a day when I'll be back at it - rest assured! I never stopped loving "stuff." But don't go chasing contentment in a shopping bag. You won't find it there.

I've learned and am still learning that only God and God alone can truly satisfy. And this is the biggest and best reason that I've embraced real contentment. Instead of looking in my closet, or at my friends, or the Joneses, I'm looking up. This whole money makeover we've been doing the last couple of years has been more of a spiritual journey than a financial one. Of course it is greatly financial, but through this process our hearts have been changed. We're content. We're able to make sacrifices today more easily because we're on our way somewhere better. And that's where God is really doing his work.

And just for laughs on my way out, here's an old favorite SNL skit. Dave always plays this before his Live Event. It's hilarious because it's true...

Woo hoo! It's a Giveaway!

So this has been a good week. Scratch that. Make it a GREAT week! The hub is officially EMPLOYED!!! As in full-time, 9-5, desk with a chair, four walls, and a W-2 to boot! And big props to my husband for having the courage to make this job happen. He was initially turned down for the spot a month ago, but on a whim decided to take the guy who interviewed him out to lunch and said, "you need to hire me, fool." OK, maybe not in those words. But seriously, I'm amazed by his spirit. I SO could not do that. But wow, what a year it has been. I've stated many times that I didn't think we'd make it out of 2009 alive... the hub's last full-time pay check was deposited into our account on 9/30/2009. And here we are, right at a year later, still kickin'... and praise God, he's been blessed with a new, very exciting opportunity. These last 12 months have been a true exercise in faith, trust, and most of all... patience! God is so faithful and we are just overwhelmed with gratitude. And excitement!

So now the real test begins.... over the past two years we've been "forced" to live on a very tight budget. I mean, if the money's not there, you can't spend it. Eating and paying bills were our priorities. Now with the potential of a lot more income coming in, we will have to really hunker down. Because now doing the *wise* thing will truly be a choice. Eye on the prize!

And I must say, as usual, Dave Ramsey could not be coming to town at a better time. He always does that! He must be checking our schedule or something. We are volunteering at his Live event when he comes to Atlanta on October 2. And yesterday afternoon my mom and I went to his "tweet-up" and walked away with some fabulous freebies! So in honor of a fabulous new job for the hub, and Dave's arrival here in a few weeks, I'm doing a great Dave giveaway!



If you're not familiar with Dave's teachings, this book is the best place to get your feet wet. The Total Money Makeover, if you work it, will change your life. Personally, our perspective on money is completely different today than it was two years ago. We've learned how to handle money the way God intended us to, and it has done wonders for our marriage and faith. The thing about the "makeover" is that it's a lifelong journey. It's not a 6-week program or something that only makes sense for a certain crowd. It's for everybody, no matter your financial situation. Whether you're living paycheck to paycheck or counting your millions in your nest egg, everyone can learn something! And what makes his advice so real and relative is the fact that he's been there. As in, 20 years ago he went bankrupt and lost everything. He then decided to figure out how money *really* works. After meeting with millionaire after millionaire, he learned the real key to building wealth is getting out of debt and staying out of debt. And the real charm of the book is his straight-forward, no-nonsense approach, topped with his uncanny humor. What's not to love?

So, again, in celebration of a fantastic new job for the hub and Dave's upcoming Live event, I am giving away a SIGNED copy of Dave's NY Times best-selling book, The Total Money Makeover, along with a free 3-month subscription to his online Total Money Makeover website where you can access budgeting software, get involved with an online community of people going through the program, and much more.

So I'm asking you to dream a little... To enter, leave a comment on this post with your answer to the following question...

If you were debt-free... if you had no payments to anyone... what's one thing you'd love to do with your money? Your income is your most valuable wealth-building tool. When it doesn't have a bunch of other people's names on it, you can do some amazing things. So, what would you do?

You have until Friday, September 24th at 12 midnight EST to enter! I will announce the lucky winner the following Saturday. Go get 'em!


P.S. God, awesome job on answering big prayer request #1. If you answer #2 (for a baby, duh), that would be friggin' sweet. And September 2010 will officially go down in history as my favorite month EVER!

Remembering

There's a lot of remembering going on today.  The easiest way for me to focus on the significance of September 11th is to look back to what I was doing that day.  Not because what *I* was doing was important or special, but because it's the best way to remember how the events of that day made me feel.

 

I was at home in my apartment in Dunwoody studying for the CPA exam.  The exam was my life back then.  I had the Bert Show on (local morning radio show) and they suddenly went nuts over something that was happening.  So I quickly turned on the TV - this was just after the first plane hit.  I remember thinking, OK how could a pilot be that off base?  Seriously.  How horrible.  And then the second plane hit.  And that confirmed it: this was no accident.  I imagine a lot of y'all felt what I felt... true fear.

 

I was on and off the phone with my dad all morning, giving him updates since he was at work with no TV coverage.  And we were trying to get in touch with my mom, who was in DC for work.  She was fine, and not even close to the Pentagon at the time, but it was scary not being able to get in touch with her.  She ended up having to get a rental car to get back to Atlanta because no planes were going out, of course.

 

A scary day.  A tragic day.  A day of tremendous suffering and loss.  And another big reminder that we live in a broken world.  I'm thinking of all of you today that lost loved ones nine years ago.  But I take comfort in the fact that we've got a big ole God.  He hurts along with us, but his glory is far greater than what any terrorist did that day.  So don't forget that.

 

"In light of heaven, the worst suffering on earth, a life full of the most atrocious tortures on earth, will be seen to be no more serious than one night in an inconvenient hotel." - Mother Teresa

Another one bites the dust.

Remember one of my big fears I mentioned earlier this year? Well, it happened. It was inevitable. I had dinner last night with two of my best girls and sure enough, one of them (kuntry bride) announced she is pregnant. Both of these girls have been big prayer warriors for me during my struggle, and she was very gracious with how she gave us the news. (Lucky has also been trying since day 1 of being married and is already frustrated.) I know that all must sound ridiculously selfish if you haven't gone through the crap the hub and I've gone through - I mean I don't want friends to walk around on egg shells around us when it comes to sharing good news. But there are better ways to do it than shoving ultrasound photos in my face and saying "Surprise!!!" (Yep, that has happened before.)

I am truly, truly thrilled for my sweet friend. She and her husband are going to be amazing parents! But I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. No worries, I didn't like make a scene over my enchilada or anything last night. Surprisingly, I haven't cried at all over it. All I can say is that it just feels weird. I had a hard time sleeping last night. It's hard not to spiral into a case of the why-me's and it's-not-fair's. It's really hard to not get frustrated with the fact that it comes SO easily for other people when we've spent nearly 5 years and thousands of dollars and we're still nowhere. It's hard not to get angry. And once again, it's hard not to feel left behind. Last night, trying to fall asleep, I just felt very... alone.

Dammit, now I'm crying.

But I have to remember that nothing has changed for us. We're still plugging along - we've got our plan in place. And I must say I'm grateful... grateful that I've been in such a good place mentally and spiritually lately that I feel I'm really able to handle this news peacefully. A few months ago, I would've taken it a LOT harder. This journey has been a true roller coaster, so I'm thankful to be soaring high for the time being! The news is still uneasy. And I don't know what it's going to look like tomorrow, or a few months down the road, but I can't worry about it. I'm just going to do what I can with what I'm given today and lean on God for tomorrow. I'm going to love on my friend and pray for a happy and healthy pregnancy for her. And continue to pray for peace for me as we charge on. So hopefully the "weirdness" will soon fade and this new normal will become more... normal.

Reader Question: How do you find peace?

Yay for Fridays off! I only have two more after this week, so I'm really trying to soak up the fun while it lasts. What will I do when I have to return to 5 day work-weeks? Goodness. The hub is doing some PT work today, so it's just me and the girls at the house. I've got some small projects on the to-do list, but nothing crazy.

So last week I got this great email from Jenn over at Living the Good Life asking how I manage not to lose my cool when money seems to be leaving a heck of a lot faster than it's coming in (story of our current lives!). Here's a bit of her message...

"My husband and I have paid off all of our debt with the exception of one car and our house. We're now working to pay that car off and save up as much money as we can so that we can move in the next year but it seems like one bad thing after another keeps happening and I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack watching our savings dwindle down! It's really the most depressing thing. Since the end of May we've had to pay $7k in miscellaneous expenses (car repairs, plane tickets to a family member's wedding, getting a nice family of bats out of our attic, the list goes on and on.)---how do you keep from totally freaking out when it feels like you're just hemorrhaging money?? I know our savings is there for emergencies, but I have such anxiety over all of the unwanted and unnecessary spending. Any advice for me?!"

I totally don't consider myself a money expert by any means, but the hub and I have been to hell and back when it comes to figuring out how to win with money. So for that reason, I'm very passionate about the subject and freaking LOVE to talk about it. So I always welcome any questions on the matter and if our story can help others in some way, bring it. And by the way, being a CPA doesn't mean you're good with money. I mean haven't you seen doctors and nurses outside the hospital doors smoking? Yeah.

We're currently held up in what I call our stuck-in-mud phase of our plan. Which makes it hard to move forward, but we are. Creeping, but moving. As most of y'all know, the hub and I are total Dave Ramsey groupies. Me especially. It's like Jesus, then Dave. And we're currently on Baby Step #2, paying off all of our consumer debt (everything but the house). The hub has been unemployed for about 10 months now - which of course has turned our debt busting shovel into a flimsy plastic spork. So we're really just in survival mode right now until the hub is able to find full-time work. We have been really blessed with some great part-time opportunities that have helped along the way. I didn't think we'd make it past 2009 on my income alone. And here we are, knocking on the door of August 2010.

I can very much relate to Jenn's anxiety. Our situation isn't the same, but you know we girls tend to *freak OUT* when it comes to money (or the lack of really). It's a security issue for us, while it's a pride issue for the guys. So it's totally natural. But how do I keep from letting that anxiety and fear overtake me? I shared with Jenn what have been three personal mainstays in my life over the last couple of years that have helped me maintain peace in financially stressful times...

1. Tithing. Back in October 2008, when we ran our very first (EVER) monthly budget together, we decided then and there to start tithing (giving 10% off the top of our income to our local church). The hub and I have always loved to give when able, but we were never intentional about it before. We don't tithe because it's some item on a checklist of "things Christians do." We don't do it because God needs the money (ha!). It's simply about trust, and that's it. "God, we've obviously been idiots here, so we're going to do it your way from now on and trust YOU and not ourselves." We've been doing this for almost two years and the hub and I agree that is the single best decision we've ever made together. It has truly changed our lives. It looks ridiculous on paper, but that 10% comes right off the top - no matter what. No. Matter. What. We've never faltered on it, not even in months where we had no idea how we'd make it to the next. I can't even put into words the tremendous peace this has brought us. It is not an easy change to make. But nothing truly good comes without great sacrifice.

2. Worry not. Ha, easier said than done, right?! Oh how that worrisome fear can be so overpowering and crippling sometimes. And that's why I must continually drill this passage into my head...

"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " Matthew 6:31-34

3. Pray. My daily prayer to God is that I seek his wisdom in my everyday decisions with money. That we take all of this one day at a time. That we look to him for strength instead of being handicapped by worry and fear. And to recognize how truly blessed we are that we've made it this far, for the amazing life lessons we've learned along the way, and for the work God has done in our hearts. When you feel overcome with fear, the best thing you can do is get down on your knees.

So there you have it. And yeah I know it's completely engrossed with God stuff. But hey kids, true peace is only found with God so for me, there's no other answer really. I know lots of people out there are struggling financially for many reasons... Maybe it's an income crisis, like us, or perhaps you've got a big storm coming that's going to suck up all your savings, or maybe you've lost everything but the shirt on your back. Whatever it is, terrifying as it can be, there is always hope. You always hear about these people taking their lives over financial crises. Fear really can take your life. The trouble is, they had no hope. There is always hope. You have to succumb to the fact that you can't do it on your own. So get on your knees and ask your Father for some help.

I hope you all find true peace!

An Unexpected Thank You

Aren't Fridays the best? Shoot, even in tax season when I have to work weekends, I still love me a Friday! Even a rainy one. Had my 2nd acupuncture session today and it went well. I was a little flustered leaving the office for my appointment - we had a fire drill right before I had to leave. OK not a drill, fire alarm. So the whole building was evacuated and we all had to stand outside for like 30 minutes. Which left me a whole 10 minutes to scarf down my Moo Goo lunch and head out the door. Which means I forgot things like, my list of foods I meant to ask Dr. Liu about... but I managed to remember a few! Instant grits: OK, Oatmeal: OK, Decaf coffee? "You don't need that, no good. Drink hot water." Boo on that.

Anyway, so I just got home a few minutes ago to find a card from kuntry bride in the mail. Haven't mentioned her in a while, but she's one of my best friends whom I love to pieces. And my heart just melted when I opened this unexpected thank-you note...

[Betty],

I want to thank you and [the hub] for inviting us to [Buckhead] church with y'all and as a result helping us find Southside [Church]. We have been in search of a church for some time now but have struggled to find a church home. We feel at home at Southside. Andy's sermons are so uplifting. We especially love how he relates to everyday life. His advice and guidance is amazing and unbelievable. You are an inspiration to me and I just want to thank you for helping me reignite my relationship with God. Please pray for us on our journey to grow in Christ. You continue to be in our prayers!

Much love,
[kuntry bride]

Wowsers. Talk about a Friday afternoon tear jerker! Didn't see this one coming... you just never know when people are watching and you're really affecting their lives. I'm not posting this letter to say "yay, I'm so awesome" (well...), but it's such a great reminder that God is always using us - sometimes when we don't even know it. I'm so thankful that we are a part of a church that is so AWESOME and irresistible that it makes it incredibly easy to invite people to join us on any random Sunday.

Hope you all have fabu weekends! We've got some fun plans with friends, but also have some down time to relax and tackle laundry (which is oddly relaxing to me - for the most part). Catch you on the other side...

5 Guardrails for Married People

Yay for Friday! It's been kind of a weird week here dog-wise. Three mornings this week began with cleaning up dog vomit. You know how moms' ears are attuned to hear baby cries? Mine are attuned to dogs up-chucking. I'm a pretty deep sleeper, but that'll wake me up in a second. Gertie started it off - Tuesday, I think. She was sick all day - constantly throwing up and couldn't keep anything down. We were terrified that she swallowed something bad and had a blockage. This girl's known to eat underwear, socks, wash rags, stuff out of the trash... She is a total scavenger and VERY sneaky. We keep doors closed to our closets, bathrooms, and the laundry room so she doesn't have access to any of these *tasty* treats, but once in a while she manages to get a hold of something. Laundry day is always a challenge with her. But luckily, she got better after 24 hours and is now back to her normal self.

Well on Wednesday, Charlie decided to start urping. Which of course sends us into a panic because we're especially sensitive to any change in him these days. And his whole sickness/surgery/cancer thing a couple of months ago all started with vomiting. Suddenly it looked like it all was coming back with a vengeance. He continued to vomit all day and again the next morning. We found ourselves in bed Thursday morning discussing our plans for when we'd ultimately have to put him down... just laying in bed with him crying. We were hanging on to hope that this was just a random tummy ache but couldn't help thinking "is this it?" Well, praise God, we haven't seen Charlie up-chuck since mid-morning yesterday (Thursday). And he started eating some again yesterday and has been much more of himself. So it's been over 24 hours... we're a little afraid to celebrate just yet, but he appears to be getting over whatever it was. Hang in there, buddy! Meanwhile, our oldest (Belly) is thinking, "what the hell is wrong with you dogs? Get it together and stop smellin' up my bedroom!"

Yeah, so we're glad to start the weekend with three happy dogs. And in other news, we're in the middle of this awesome new sermon series by Andy Stanley at church called "Guardrails." (My dog-vomit intro doesn't really lead into that so well, but whatever.) We all know what guardrails are - those ugly metal beams alongside the highway that keep you from running off the road and into danger. Well the whole premise of this series is establishing "guardrails" in different areas of your life to keep you from heading into dangerous or forbidden territory (i.e. screwing up your life). It's about making the conscious decision to define behaviors for yourself to keep you out of trouble and protect the relationships you have. Andy talks about how we have to be intentional with setting these standards for ourselves because we're always tempted to live right on the edge of disaster. So we need to set boundaries for ourselves - guardrails far from that real "line" we never want to cross - so that we never find ourselves up against it.

The series focuses on various areas where we all need guardrails - friendships, finances, and marriage. But I found the marriage piece SO fascinating. I've always said to the hub that there are just "certain things you don't do when you're married." I've never really defined that, but you know... there are just things you don't do cuz you're married. I'm sure a lot of my friends would disagree. But OMG don't you just love it when someone *official* (like your pastor) confirms something you've been saying or feeling all this time?

So Andy specifically laid out 5 guardrails for married folks. He also did a list for singles which is awesome, but I'm just focusing on the married right now. These are not found in the Bible anywhere... these are nothing but "standard operating procedures" for protecting your marriage. Guardrails are important in all the major areas of our lives, but Andy noted that establishing them to protect your sexual purity, whether you're married or single, is the most important. Because you can overcome a financial disaster and completely recover, but very rarely do people fully recover from an affair. So don't deceive yourself into thinking "this can never happen to us!" Be proactive in protecting your marriage and establish these boundaries for yourself. By doing so, you're making a decision. By not doing so, you're making a decision. I think these are awesome and totally on point, but I'm curious to know what y'all think. Here are the 5 guardrails for married couples...

(1) Don't travel alone with members of the opposite sex.
Andy talked about how he went out of his way not to do this (i.e. carpooling to work) even when it seemed convenient.

(2) Don't eat alone with members of the opposite sex.
This one is huge - Andy especially stressed the importance of this one. Throughout all the years he counseled couples struggling with infidelity, he said ALL but one relationship/affair began here. "Oh let's grab a coffee... let's get lunch..." And yes, there are times when you'll find yourself in one of these situations unexpectedly. It's OK, you don't have to scream "NO!" and run out of the restaurant. Just take a minute to phone your spouse and tell them what's going on.

(3) Don't hire cute members of the opposite sex because you want to help them.
That one of course got a good laugh from the audience. You've seen too many movies not to know where this leads... Don't deceive yourself into thinking you're "helping" them. Get them help, but don't hire them.

(4) Don't confide in or counsel members of the opposite sex.
So true... doesn't take a genius to know that's dangerous ground.

(5) When you feel your heart or desire drifting toward a specific person, tell someone.
Whether it's a sister, a best friend, a small group member... tell someone. Someone who will hold you accountable.

I'm sure some of you think these might be a bit extreme... but what wouldn't you be willing to do (or not do) to protect your marriage? You certainly wouldn't *regret* adopting these guardrails. It's not as though having coffee with another man or woman is a sin... it's about drawing a line for yourself and choosing not to cross it. It's important to know your spouse's guardrails - so you can hold him or her accountable! And you also want to be comfortable with your spouse's guardrails. But ladies, think about it... if you knew your husband set these boundaries for himself, how awesome would that make you feel?

It's an incredible series overall, but I definitely encourage y'all to go check out this specific sermon that goes over the guardrails for marrieds and singles. Andy does a MUCH better job selling the idea than I do. Hop over here and click on the yellow square for "Guardrails." The 5/2/10 message, "Flee Baby Flee," is the one you want. You can also download a podcast version. Have a listen and let me know your thoughts!

And have a fabulous weekend, all! Later...