Progress.

So I'm doing really well on my Moo Goo diet.  If I were doing this to lose weight, I would've cheated like not even 24 hours into it.  I've never really done a "diet."  I'm just a pure calorie-counter if I'm paying attention.  No real restrictions.  But Moo Goo has me on some mad restrictions, that's for sure.  But honestly, it's not nearly as hard as I thought it all would be.  I do miss my coffee.  And it's not the caffeine I miss... it's just the act of drinking that warm cup of yummy goodness in the morning.  I have more energy now than I can remember having in a long time - not sure if it's the diet, the herbs, or both.  But either way, I'm not needing caffeine.  I don't get that 2pm slump that I used to get.  It's only been a week or so, but the change was that fast.  Wow. 

 

I do miss my dairy.  I'm a huge, HUGE cereal fan.  I would often eat a small bowl of cereal as dessert after dinner.  Cereal at night is the best... I got that from my grandfather.  That and keeping chocolates in the fridge (they're so much better cold - try it).  I'm still able to have some cereal, but I just eat it dry out of a cup.  Really miss my cheese and sour cream.  Like seriously... so many things that I love have those two things in them.  Whatever. 

 

I'm still trying to figure out the bread thing.  I'm not supposed to have wheat... or a lot of it anyway, so it sounds kinda like a gluten-free thing.  Brown rice is OK.  So I've been having a good bit of that.  Every time I go see Dr. Liu I have a list of specific foods to ask about.  I need to find out about tortillas.  All of life's goodness is wrapped in a tortilla, you know.  I should be able to eat them.

 

Oh and all I drink is water.  At room temperature.  Not that I eat out much, but I quickly learned to ask for "water no ice" when I do.  I'm so Euro.  I would think some decaf teas are OK...sans sugar... (oh yeah, low sugar too on this plan).  I'll add that to my list of questions.  No alchohol either, of course.

 

I feel really good though.  And not just physically, but also feeling really good about this plan of ours.  We're certainly not counting on anything, but we truly think the possibility exists for us to get pregnant naturally while doing this whole traditional Chinese med routine.  And that's why I think I'm doing so well with the diet.  While I miss certain foods and have cravings, I'm not at all tempted to cheat.  I do have my *one* little treat everyday - a single dark chocolate Ghirardelli square (a 2x2 slice of Heaven).  But other than that, I'm pretty hardcore. 

 

I think my attitude is getting better too.  That same pregnant chick was in my yoga class again on Monday and I wanted to punch her face less this time.  (Baby steps.)  It's still a day-to-day thing though.  On my mind constantly.  Which is so annoying.  The weird thing is, when it's just me at home or at work or whatever, I'm OK.  It's when I'm with other people that I feel isolated.  I know that makes no sense.  I had dinner with the beautiful Amy from Chapters last week and she brought this very point up - that it's other people that often make you feel alone.  Not that anyone intends to - of course not... it's just how it is.  Amy, by the way, is so genuine and I had such a great time eating and chatting with her about our journeys!  But anyway, that's how I'm kind of feeling about my small group girls right now...  the odd man out. 

 

Well for one thing, I haven't been to a meeting in like two forevers.  My tax season schedule caused me to miss a couple of them and then the last two were canceled altogether because not enough people were gonna show.  Lame.  We only meet every other week in the first place, so a couple of missed meetings turns into a long dry spell.  But as I was missing some of the meetings, I still was in the throws of the constant email exchanges.  One meeting I missed involved a *surprise* baby shower for one of the girls.  My work schedule was rather convenient that day, thanks.  And then another girl announced her pregnancy this past week via mass email.  (Oh, remind me to go on a tangent about mass emails later - you'll love it.)  Swelling bellies aside, I've always kind of felt like an outsider in this group.  There are 11 girls and I am the only one who is not a mom.  So there are constant talks of "play dates" and "family" outings as a group. Vomit.  I don't want to leave the group, but I just feel like this weirdo that no one understands.  I mean, 90% of the small talk revolves around what their kids are doing, to which I obviously have nothing to contribute.  I'm like, "hey, my dog ate his own shit the other day!" Not quite the same.  I have this huge INFERTILE stamp across my forehead.  I don't understand or fit into their world.  So I sometimes feel a little worthless being there... which I know is not true.  I have a purpose there, I just haven't found it yet.  They are all very sweet and caring girls.  I think they just don't know me yet that well - part of that's my fault.  So I'm praying about that.

 

OK insert tangent on mass emails revolving around babies....  I got into this discussion with bestest the other day via email.  She was like, "when you get pregnant and are about to give birth, PLEASE keep me in the loop every step of the way."  Not her exact words, but yeah.  I said, "No problem, bestest. I already have this worked out."  You see, when you spend years trying to get pregnant, you have a lot of down time to plan out your entire pregnancy and first few years as a mother.  I'm like a greyhound drooling behind the gate, ready to burst.  So here's my "communication" plan for labor...  It's really simple: Twitter.  We'll send out emails to some, but probably will just do an update on Facebook to say something like, "Hey, we're approaching our due date and if you want to follow along with what's happening when, follow us on twitter and sign up for text message alerts.  We will not be making lots of calls or sending out mass emails, so this is the best way to keep up, if you're interested." 

 

This plan is awesome for three reasons...  (1) It's super easy on us.  I tweet anyway, so no added stress on my part.  (2) I refuse to do the mass "Baby so-and-so has arrived!!!" email.  I get these all the time.  I understand why people do them.  But for me, opening one of those is like a punch in the gut.  And (3), I'm not so crazy or narcissistic to believe that everyone out there even cares to know every detail of my child's birth.  That's the best part - you have the choice to follow along if you want to.  Brilliant, right?

 

OK kids... I've got to throw on my sexy yoga pants and head out of here!  xoxo