My meds are here!

And I'm even more thrilled, because after the pharmacy ran my insurance, the total for everything was right at $100. Unreal! Our meds for the fresh cycle were over $3,000, so to receive this big box of goodies for only $100 seriously makes me giddy. Oh, the strange things I get excited over...

Here's a look at everything. There's a ton of additional syringes, so there's a lot of fluff in here. It's just two injectable medications (in vials) and a few others in pill form.

Here's the Lupron that I'll start on April 10th...

I think I can just do those in my stomach like I did my others. But here's the real bitch in the bunch - the progesterone...

Because it must be taken with this BIG ASS needle!!! DAILY!!!

The little one next to it is my normal size needle for injections in my stomach. (And don't worry, germaphobes - I threw those two needles out.) Lord help me with these progesterone shots! I've been warned they are not fun. The hub is definitely going to have to handle those because there's no way I can give that to myself. One of my friends did them herself and I have NO clue how she did. She has super powers, I think. My buns are sore just thinking about it.

Getting the meds today was super exciting though... I'm so ready to get started. And not nearly as freaked out as I was last time I opened my box of goodies. The progesterone shots are gonna suck, but bring it. I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!

Freaking out a little.

Over this.

And this.

Oh, and this.

We're getting down to go-time, so I figured I'd break out my big box-o-meds and see if I could figure out what's what. (These pictures are just a sampling of what's in the box, mind you.) Instead, I nearly start crying after having an unexpected why-the-hell-do-I-have-to-go-through-all-this-crap-for-a-damn-baby moment. Make a mental note that we may need to repeat Injectables 101 with the nurse this week. Make a second note that much of my afternoon tomorrow should be spent on the pharmacy websites watching how-to videos. Deep breath, swallow. Throw everything back in the big box. Too much to tackle tonight. I think I'll go watch Modern Family and go to bed early instead.

It's going to be a great day!

Since I haven't made it on here to post much of any substance in the last couple of weeks, here's another video I can't stop watching. I've probably rerun it on Tivo like 30 times. It makes me do my ugly snort laugh...



Have a GREAT day!

Look Mom, No Hands!

Aw, bust.

That's my high-flying husband. We were on the lake last Sunday - had a great time! Everyone was wake boarding, but I was just sitting pretty eating my Moo Goo snacks and soaking up the sun (a la SPF 45 of course). No rigorous exercise for me, thanks. And slamming my body into the water at high speeds sounds a bit rigorous.

No lake this weekend, but it's a fun one. Last night we had our couples' small group over for an in-home cooking class with a professional chef. SO fun! And hello, we got all the leftovers! Didn't even think about that when we volunteered to host, but hey... bonus! Of course, I can't have any of them - ha. But the hub's happy. Y'all would be so proud... I mean we are talking all these fabulous appetizers (our class was just a bunch of different appetizers) and like 75% of them involved cheese. Sad! But I was good. I brought out my own Moo Goo friendly crackers so I could have some hummus and fruit salsa. And there were a couple of meat dishes I could partake in - some flank steak skewers and some teriyaki chicken wings. Ugh, and she made this delicious looking Sangria (y'all know how I love me some Sangria!) and I had to stick with my room-temp water. Boring, but I managed. It was such a fun time anyway though. And our small group also declared that for our next meeting we're all bringing Moo Goo friendly snacks (we all bring an appetizer/dish to share at group meetings)! So sweet! Guess it'll be lots of meat... ha!

Though I have discovered that I can have corn tortillas. I'm not a big fan of them, but hey - that means I can have enchiladas and I guess hard taco shells too. Finding all the things I can eat at a Mexican restaurant has been essential. Anyway, so I bought stuff to make enchiladas and I think we'll give that a go tonight.

Tomorrow we're putting together a Greek-themed menu for Father's Day. My parents are coming over for dinner. I'm going to attempt Baklava for dessert - I found what looks like a really good, simple recipe. Working with filo dough is the hardest part! I think I'll have to try a small bite once I make it... I mean, the dough is paper thin and all. Just a bite though!

Alright... gotta put together my grocery list and get moving. Feels so good to have a clean house today and not have to worry about any of that! We may go to a free concert tonight with some friends... I'm not sure what the plan is. But if that doesn't pan out, I'm totally cool with chillin' a la casa tonight too. Shoot, I may not even shower. *Gasp!*

Change of Plans

Today was supposed to be a let's-hurry-up-and-get-out-of-town Friday, but it has turned into a lazy Friday at home with the dogs. We had planned to head up to Knoxville this morning to visit the hub's parents for the weekend and we were really looking forward to the little getaway... but poor Charlie has been sick again this week. After taking him to the vet yesterday and changing up his meds some, we decided it'd be best to stay home and keep a close eye on him.

He has been sick on and off all week and very iffy about his food. Again, his #1 favorite thing in the world is food. So if he's not eating, we know it's bad. Of course we're always thinking, "is this it?" whenever he gets sick because his cancer could return at any time. The vet thinks his issues this week though may be the result of some ulcers forming in his stomach because of the combo of meds he's been on the last couple of months. With his new meds, we should know in a couple of days if it's something that'll clear up or if it's indeed the cancer coming back with a vengeance.

Like we've said from the beginning, we just want to keep him happy and comfortable as long as possible. We've already had the tough talk about our "plan" for him once the time comes. Ugh, that's such a not-fun topic. I hate thinking about our home without our fuzzy boy. I'm praying this is just ulcers or whatever - something that will go away after a couple of days. We know we're on borrowed time with him, but oh let's please just stretch it out a little longer, Lord!

Well speaking of Charlie... I've got to run and give him his morning dose of pills! Boy needs his own pill box for crying out loud.

Hope y'all have a fabulous Friday! I'm off - weeeee!!! Just enjoying some time at home with the hub and our silly pups.

This was my Monday. How was yours?

Yeah... that's poor Phoebe after a battle with a big truck. (Phoebe lost.) And apparently Phoebe's momma has been having trouble obeying traffic laws as of late. Friday I got pulled over for failing to come to a complete stop at a red light before turning right. Got off with a warning, thank goodness!

But today... after I had already had a lovely morning where I spilt oatmeal all down my dress... I decided to make a run to the bank and instead ran into a truck. I failed to yield when turning left. (Allegedly.) No one was hurt and my air bag didn't even blow - so that's good. And you'll be glad to know that the rear window we just replaced stayed intact! But what should've been a 10 minute trip to the ATM turned into a 2 1/2 hour ordeal. My car had to be towed off to a nearby body shop. We're awaiting word from our insurance as to whether they'll total it or not. Phoebes is over 11 years old, y'all... so it's very likely the repairs could cost more than the poor girl is worth. But I really hope not! I seriously will be SO sad if we aren't able to repair her! She's got lots of life left in her and you know I'm gonna drive her till her wheels fall off. So say a lil prayer for Phoebe, my beloved '98 Honda Accord.

Yeah so... after yoga tonight, I'm totally beat. I was annoyed today with myself for getting in the wreck... especially this month when we have so much going on, but now I'm just tired and kinda blue. Remember that credit card we were supposed to pay off? Yeah... that's going on the back burner for now thanks to my failure to yield! (Allegedly.) But I know that's what Dave would tell us to do... so we're OK with that - it just sucks because we were really pumped to pay off that card! Oh well... we'll knock it out soon. But for now, I think I'm going to go to bed and start over.

Buford Baby Update

I was up at at 'em early yesterday morning... 7am appointment at RBA for more bloodwork. And then back to work to wait, wait, and wait some more on the results. Highly annoying for this impatient one! Finally around 2 o'clock, the hub got a hold of one of the nurses with the results. (We're supposed to wait on them to call us, but well...) So the hub calls me at work and immediately by his tone I can tell it's not good. In his upbeat-but-serious voice, he's like, "well, it's not great news."

The news is my HCG levels were almost nil yesterday (whereas they were over 100 on Thursday). In a normal pregnancy, they should be doubling about every 48 hours, NOT going backwards. They said I had what's called a chemical pregnancy - basically just a very early miscarriage. A lot of women have them without ever realizing they were pregnant... it can just look like a late period. Kinda makes me wonder if I've ever had one before. I've definitely had a strangely late period here and there, but never a positive pregnancy test. Who knows... Anyway, they said if I hadn't started spotting/bleeding yet (which I hadn't), I should soon. And then we'd go ahead and move on to round #2.

So yeah, yesterday was a big let down. I absolutely hate crying in public, so at about 2:15 I left work without saying anything and drove over to my parents' house. They live super close to my office. I just sat with my mom and we both cried it out. I just needed to get in a good immediate cry... I really hadn't cried AT ALL about the actual pregnancy and it just all came out. Flood gates open. It was good though. I went back to work afterwards and was able to hold it together the rest of the afternoon. And I promptly informed the hub that we would need a calorie fest and a movie marathon last night and he of course obliged. Yeah, here's what I ate...

• McD's double cheeseburger value meal with diet coke
• plus 1/2 of the hub's fries (that's right - in addition to MY fries)
• plus 2 of the hub's McNuggets (which are pretty grody but I didn't care)
• Cookies & Cream milkshake from Chick-fil-A (and I ate the whole damn thing.)

Oh but girls, I'm watching my waistline - so I said 'no whip' on the shake. "Dodgeball" was on TV so we watched that. Then I caught what will be one of the 500 replays of the MTV Movie Awards from this past weekend. And I did absolutely nothing else. There's a pile of laundry calling my name, but I didn't care. I just needed to veg - something I RARELY do. But it's just what I needed.

I woke up yesterday thinking I was pregnant, and went to bed last night knowing I wasn't. It's so weird how our realities have changed back and forth so quickly over the past few days. I of course am heartbroken, but we knew very well that this was certainly a possibility. And honestly, if it wasn't going to be a viable pregnancy, I rather lose it now than several weeks down the road. But no matter how you rationalize it, it still sucks. It still hurts. I hadn't yet let myself get too excited about being pregnant since it was so early, but I still wanted to believe.

But either way, knowing we can GET pregnant is still such a huge hurdle for us. It puts us in another league, and that is definitely reason to celebrate. With every prayer asking God for this baby to stick, I first thanked him for getting us this far. Every day was progress, even if it was the last. So while our hearts are heavy right now, we're still so grateful and I feel so loved by God right now. I can just feel his arms around me - when I need him the most.

This morning after making my (still decaf) coffee, I went in our guest bedroom and shut the door to pray. I STILL had no signs of any spotting, so of course I prayed that if there was any chance of a healthy miracle here, I'm in. But if this bird is getting kicked out of the nest, let's just get it done so we can move on. And I thanked him again for getting us where we are.

A few minutes later I sat down to spill this all out to y'all. Then I had to run to the bathroom mid-sentence and sure enough... there was Flo making her way in the front door. I just kind of laughed. That's got to be record timing for an answered prayer.

We're due to see my doctor later this week to make sure my HCG levels have gone all the way back to pretty much zero and we'll get started again. So just keep us in your prayers! It's a rough week, but we're definitely OK. The love and support we've gotten from friends and family is tremendous and so humbling. Thanks again for ALL your sweet and encouraging words. I will certainly keep you posted as we progress. xoxoxo

United we stand, y'all.

Well y'all know I don't really go all politik on here. Not my cup of tea. I do have strong opinions, and I'll be glad to jump in on a conversation any day, but my opinions are personal and I don't really use my blog as a place to parade those opinions. I generally vote conservatively, so yes, I was disappointed in last night's outcome, but it's over and it's time to move on! Whether it's the man I voted for or not, I've got a new president. And as an American, he'll have my respect and support. And while my personal views on policy are not in line with his, I'll stand behind him.

I understand people being disappointed when their candidate of choice doesn't win, but to be devastated? Give me a break. Neither one of these candidates will change my life personally. Neither of them can solve my problems. In the end, I'm responsible for me. NOT them. Yes, it matters, and yes, it affects us as a country, but anyone who thinks that any president is going to "fix things" and solve all their problems is sniffin' glue. And to those who proclaim they're going to leave the country if so-and-so is elected... go ahead! Perhaps some world travel will give you a little perspective. You don't know how good you've got it here.

But no matter whom you voted for, it's a historic day here. And I am SO proud to be an American!

Recovering.

Somebody let Buford Betty have too many Blue Bayou's yesterday afternoon without eating anything except half of a Luna Bar. Though I slightly recall eating a hot dog at one point from the hot dog man downtown... not altogether sure about that. We didn't end up getting tickets. Wait, no we did. One of our friends that we went up with - his little sister came with and she scored like 4 tickets for face value - quite a feat. (She was cute and had big boobs - that always helps.) But it was hot as hell and we ultimately decided an air-conditioned bar sounded rather appealling, so we sold the tickets. I say *we* as if I was involved in all of this... no. I was at Bissett's downing Blue Bayou's this whole time and talking to two random dudes about the "good ole days" at UGA. At some point my high school came up and that started the "oh do you know so-and-so" conversation. And (Blue Bayou talking here), "oh yes I do! He totally liked me but would never ask me out. He totally missed out - that's all I gotta say." So what do we do? We start trying to call him. Brilliant.

We then started bar hopping to find a good spot to watch the game. Which there really are none because it's just packed everywhere. And all the bars have changed names multiple times since we were there so I have no freaking clue where we were. Plus I couldn't really see straight, so I really couldn't tell you. I remember seeing little helmets runnning around on a TV screen, but I didn't catch one single play of the game. Kinda bummed we missed the whole introduction of Uga VII. But seeing as my vision was skewed, I probably wouldn't have appreciated it. I remember when Uga V handed over his duties to Uga VI... 1999 maybe? I was in tears. Remember that day, bestest?! They showed a whole tribute video to Uga V and all that good stuff. So I hate that I missed all that.

Anyway, fast forward a bit and the Blue Bayou's finally caught up with me. I told the hub - I gotta go lay down in the car, like right now. So we got the keys from our buddy and I did just that. The hub said we were in there for like half an hour before our friends joined us to go home. I had no idea of time at this point - I was just glad to be horizontal. And ultimately, since Buford Betty apparently can't handle her liquor, the Blue Bayou's made a repeat appearance. Although the room (er, car) was spinning, I think I managed to be quite a tidy little up-chucker. The hub was such a sport. Well you know what - he should be. It was he afterall who kept ordering more drinks. That's right - his fault! ;-) And naturally, I felt way better after rejecting that hot blue mess. I know my body was like, WTF? Because while I love me a glass of wine here and there and the occassional margarita when I can justify the calories... I just don't drink that much. So really there was no way for this to end pretty.

We were supposed to go over to another friend's house last night for a Labor Day weekend cookout. Yeah, the hub went... but at 6pm I was face down on the bed in a bath robe. And I didn't move till the hub got back home around midnight and I had him make me a roast beef sandwich. I figured I needed some actual food in me. Still not sure about the alleged hot dog... so it's possible I had nothing to eat from like 10 o'clock in the morning to midnight yesterday (besides that half of a Luna Bar). Went back to bed and fell back asleep around 2 or so... got back up this morning around 7:30am. Which is like my normal out of bed time on weekends. Even though I feel lousy, I feel guilty staying in bed. I have mental issues.

So I'm recovering. I actually feel pretty OK. I just have that kind of dull bleh feeling in my stomach and a slight headache. And I'm exhausted. Unmotivated. Which is not good considering my to-do list is like off the charts since we're hosting this shower next weekend. Perhaps another cup of coffee and I'll get it together...

But anyway, three cheers for the Dawgs! I'll post some pics soon. I did get some good pics while I still had some sense. I fear what's on my friend's camera though. I distinctly remember several camera flashes going off while I was horizontal in the back seat of the car. Not good.

Thanks for the evite.

I just got an evite to a summer cookout next weekend. Looks real fun, guys! Problem is - I have no idea who this person is that sent it out. Seriously NO idea. By looking at the invitees, I see that there is some kind of connection to our neighborhood up here in suburbia. But this person lives in Decatur. I'm completely clueless. Perhaps I'll reply *maybe* and add "I'll give you a final answer as soon as I figure out who the hell you are. Thanks for the invite!"

Someone stole my weekend.

I was literally home for maybe 3 waking hours over the past two days. That wasn't really the original plan, but it somehow turned out that way. This was partially due to a rafting trip from hell on Saturday that I shall entertain y'all with in a bit. Y'all know I am not outdoorsy whatsoever. And everytime I partake in these sort of activities, I remind myself why.

Anyway, I obviously didn't get around to drawing a name for the stationery giveaway yet. Apologies! Blogger was giving me hell Friday afternoon and Saturday. I couldn't view any blogs without getting some stupid error message saying we had to abort! I'm just trying to view a blog, not execute some kind of classified military mission. How stupid. And I know it wasn't just me because bestest was having the same issues. So I couldn't even view my comments from that giveaway post to get a list of names to draw from... Needless to say, that's on the to-do list for today. I will draw a winner tonight. I hope none of you were holding your breath all weekend!

Three things for Thursday...

1. I added some measurements to my maternity denim detail below up for grabs, as inquiring minds wanted to know!

2. My $4.95 jeans arrived yesterday. They're gorgeous, but tragically, are one size too big. :-( I'm SO totally bummed... Guess I'll be returning those puppies. I do think my next designer denim purchase will definitely be Rich & Skinny's though - love them.

3. I'll be drawing a winner for my stationery giveaway tomorrow afternoon! Don't forget to sign up here by 5 o'clock tomorrow! My stuff is rather delicious, if I do say so myself, so don't miss out! :-)

:: One year ago today ::

Is YOUR Starbucks closing?

Here's the list.

Oh dear.

Just got this voicemail from my mom...

"Hey uh... I just got done with my hair and I uh... I think - well, I know - I went a little too far this time. Call me."

Uh oh. She was dying her hair today (on her own). I better call her.


Update: Yeah apparently she decided to take it up a notch this time and go for a darker auburn red color. Hehehehe... she said it looks OK in the dark. In the dark? Yes, in the dark. But in the light it apparently looks purple. Oh dear.