5 Weeks Today!

Pretty monumental and definitely cause for celebration as we've never ever made it all the way through week 5 before. The little precious spec of dust (or two?) is now the size of an appleseed!



Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's just one babe in there. I'd think my hormone levels would be much higher if both had stuck around, but you never know! We won't know for sure till at least the 1st ultrasound.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend! Oh and by the way, my jury duty yesterday was nothin'. We got assigned to a judge and a case and then the defendant entered a plea before we could even get in the courtroom, so we were dismissed. I was in and out of there in 2 hours. Works for me!

Jury Duty

I've been "on call" for jury duty all this week and today I've finally got to report. I'm sure it will be *loads* of fun, but I don't guess I mind all that much. Nothing crazy going on at work and honestly, it's a nice distraction. It'll keep me away from Dr. Google. I've always escaped jury duty before because the only other summons I've gotten in the past were from counties I had already moved out of... so this is truly my first time. Super exciting, huh? Thank goodness for my Kindle.

Beta #3

1,095!

 

at 14dp5dt

 

 

All levels are "great" and "completely normal."  And yes, I'm totally hanging on the nurse's phrasing here because honestly I was expecting higher.  I know I'm not supposed to read TOO much into these numbers, but *ugh* it's hard not to when it's all I really have to go on right now.  My doubling factor slowed down to 66.52 hours, which is still within the "completely normal" range, but hello - it slowed down.  I asked the nurse if that was a concern and she said no.  She said everything is great and (again) "completely normal" and if Dr. T had any concern at all they would've let me know and probably had me come in to see what's going on up in there.  But again, no concern on their part whatsoever - so, OK.  I can catch my breath again now. 

 

I go back for one more test next Tuesday and then we will schedule the first ultrasound!  Gosh, Tuesday... that's an awfully long way away.  That's my biggest stretch so far when it comes to short-term goals.  Good thing we have a holiday weekend to distract me for three of those days!  Ahhhh!!!!

Approaching 5 Weeks

I keep getting questions about how I'm feeling... it is still super early (4 wks, 5 days) and I don't think morning sickness and all that jazz usually kicks in till around 6 weeks.  But I definitely have some cramping on and off - just very dull cramping, like something's going on in there - nothing like menstrual cramps.  And some days I am just dog tired.  Like, Saturday I seriously took 4 naps.  I never take naps.  OK not never, but seriously it's rare.  I'm just not the type to do nothing when I'm at home, so that was unusual.  But I'm really trying to listen to my body and if it says "I'm exhausted," then I'll take that as a cue to slow down. 

 

Also, over the past few days I've noticed a total decrease in appetite.  At first I chalked this up to my super-high protein diet.  I've really kicked up the protein since transfer day and protein fills yous up.  And all my meals and snacks are very strategically planned out so that I can work my 3 doses of Noni juice in each day.  I have to drink that nasty stuff on an empty stomach, and I have to get all three doses in before 6pm.  I don't know why - I guess I turn into a gremlin if I have any after 6pm.  So I literally map out my meals and Noni on my to-do list each morning.  Which also means that if it's meal time, I have to eat even if I'm not hungry for it.  But lately I've noticed I'm never hungry for it.  I'll get hunger pains and a growling tummy, but nothing sounds good.  The idea of eating anything is just kinda... meh. 

 

Which for me (if you know me at all) is NOT normal.  Eating is like my favorite thing to do and my #1 priority everyday.  When I'm eating breakfast, I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat for lunch.  When we go on vacation, my first concern is our meals.  So yeah, this not wanting to eat thing is totally foreign to me.  Did anyone else experience this is early pregnancy?  I'm sure it'll pass soon and I'll make up for it on down the road.  Dr. Google says the appetite loss and the cramping are both totally normal during week 5.  Both are officially listed as "pregnancy symptoms" on various sites, so there you go.

 

And while we're on food, etc... Dr. Liu told me today (by mushing on my forearm) that my body needs more chicken and beef.  Beef being the best.  Turkey?  "Turkey OK, chicken better."  We went through a whole list of foods.  So I guess I'll have to start buying some ground beef.  We switched to ground turkey for everything a couple of years ago, but we can work in some beef for now.  And I just ate a char-grilled chicken breast from Chick-fil-A.  At precisely 2pm.  After my 1:30pm Noni dose.  And no, I wasn't particularly hungry for it, but it was good.  Especially when dunking it in their honey mustard.

 

My herbs have also been scaled back a lot - which is nice.  Just less of a hassle, really.  And less cost - I like that.  I'm thinking right now that I will continue acupuncture through the first trimester and probably drop off after that.  If you did acupuncture during pregnancy, what did you do?  I know a lot of people go back at full term to help induce labor. 

 

Still just taking it one day at a time here.  We go back for beta #3 tomorrow and I'm of course anxious to get those numbers!!!  I'm liking these initial visits - they are keeping me busy and focused on a 2-3 day period at a time.  "OK, we made it past beta #2, so let's focus on getting to beta #3 with great numbers," etc.  I like short-term goals.  It's hard for me to think too far ahead right now.  Like seriously the idea of holding a baby in my arms is FAR from my thought process right now.  I'm just trying my best to stay pregnant for now.  We'll probably do one more beta after this one and then hopefully our first ultrasound here in a couple of weeks!  Crazy! 

 

Thank you for the continued prayers and sweet comments... I cherish them ALL!!!!!

Beta #2

671!!!

 

at 12dp5dt

 

 

All levels are "perfectly normal!"  I was kinda hoping for a little bit higher on the hCG, but seriously - this number is very good.  You can't read too much into the numbers (I keep repeating this to myself).  And they are doubling at a rate of 49.33 hours.  Oh yes, there are Beta hCG doubling calculators all over the internet, so of course I plugged my numbers in as soon as I got off the phone with the nurse.  Like I mentioned yesterday, the numbers ideally should be doubling every 48-72 hours at this point.  So I am right where I need to be!  Excellent.

 

I go back Wednesday for yet another beta... is this really happening?!

OK, I'm satisfied.

Today was rather monumental. As I mentioned before - the last time we had a 2nd beta on a Monday, I took a test the Sunday before and noticed the 2nd line had faded. It was still there, but significantly less so. I wasn't expecting today's test to go backwards at all, but I just needed wanted that extra bit of reassurance. So there you go...




I'm thinking the line's just not gonna get much darker at this point! I was planning to test again tomorrow, but I really think I am satisfied. People keep saying, "yes, a line is a line - you're pregnant." I know that - I never doubted the fact that it was positive. I just wanted to make sure it stayed that way. Hey, you signed up for crazy with me - I warned ya!

So, I'm starting to *try* to embrace the fact that I'm... pregnant. It's been awkward for me to say those words. Anyone I've told our news to I've said, "We got a positive test!" I haven't actually said, "I'm pregnant!" That just sounds presumptuous and weird. I think maybe I need to see it on the ultrasound screen before I can truly get what's going on inside my body right now! Infertiles often have trouble enjoying pregnancy... when it takes SO long to achieve it, after many failed attempts, it's hard to know what to think of it when it finally happens. You're overwhelmed with excitement, yet handicapped by a constant state of worry that you're going to lose it (again). So you feel a little awkward celebrating and being told "Congratulations!" It's just weird, that's all I can say. A good weird, but weird.

BUT, speaking of what is going on inside my body, I find these week-by-week pregnancy guides super fascinating. It is seriously wicked cool how FAST those microscopic embryos turn into little humans. Right now I'm 4 weeks + 3 days, so I'm in the middle of the 5th week...



If you are in your fifth week, you might not be able to stop yawning [tell me about it] long enough to read this! Sleeping in a jog bra can help the breast soreness [the estrogen pills kicked this one in early]. You may even feel a cramping or a full feeling in your uterus. Some women may also get headaches [YES - these come and go] from a rise in hormones . . .

Your baby's heart will begin to beat this week! It's amazing how much is happening so quickly. A transvaginal ultrasound will show about 90% of the yolk sacs. It is possible to differentiate between the head and the tail of your baby now. By the end of the week that folic acid will be paying off as the neural folds begin to fuse. Average length is 1.5 - 2.5 mm.


How crazy is that? A beating heart ALREADY? Wow. Well, tomorrow is beta #2 and I'm super excited to get those numbers so I can venture into a new realm of crazy... over-analyzing the rise in beta numbers. Ideally, they should double every 48-72 hours (the faster, the better). So if I'm doing the math right, I'm looking for something over 700. After tomorrow, we should have one more beta and then we'll do our first ultrasound sometime between the 6th and 7th week. Eeks!

Well, enjoy the rest of your weekend... I'll be back tomorrow with beta #s!


Above photo and text from about.com

Yep, still there.

Let's just go ahead and get the crazy out of the way this morning...

Even darker today! (I promise I'll stop this pee stick madness after Monday.)

But also, I FINALLY got the video and pics up from transfer day, so go check it out!

Beta Results, Please...

244!!!

 

at 9dp5dt (9 days past 5-day transfer <-- meaning a 5-day old embryo)

 

 

I'm in total shock.  I was *hoping* to get over 100, so I'm incredibly thrilled with this number.  If you aren't familiar with beta/HCG numbers, read up here.  It's mostly IF-speak!  Do they even do blood tests for fertiles?!  Anyway, you can bet your britches we'll keep testing on pee-sticks over the weekend so I can ensure that 2nd line stays there.  Am I mental?  Maybe.  But for real, I need the reassurance... 

 

The last time we had a "real" positive 1st beta (two years ago after IUI #1), I took a test the day before the 2nd one and the line was significantly lighter (than we had previously seen days before).  I tried not to over-analyze it, but my gut told me something was wrong.  And sure enough, my levels had dropped when I had my blood drawn the next day.  I don't fear that happening at all this time... but I will just feel more at ease seeing two bright lines over the weekend! 

 

I'm so grateful and happy that we've made it THIS far... we're truly celebrating every step, every day.  I will go enjoy the weekend, but c'mon Monday!!!!!!  Don't think I've ever craved a Monday morning so badly before!

Beta Today!

Dare I say peeing on a stick each morning has become rather thrilling? It's like our daily scorecard right now. And we went digital today...



Now there's no misreading that one! (Follow the arrows if you're not seeing it.)

And of course we did the normal two-liner to see how we compared to days 1 and 2. Getting darker!!! Right, right?!

So my 1st beta is TODAY! We are getting there super early so I can get a call-back early. Hopefully I will know something by lunchtime... we'll see!

One Day at a Time

That's our mantra right now.

So far, so good...

It's a *little* bit darker today. (Don't tell me if you disagree. You're just not concentrating hard enough.) But hey, I'm really just jazzed that a 2nd line is still there period. Tomorrow, we're going digital. I've been holding off on that one in fear of it flashing "NOT PREGNANT" too early. It might as well say, "YOU FAILED!" Can't it say something less crushing, like... "MAYBE NEXT TIME?" Anyway, we'll give that one a go tomorrow.

AND tomorrow is my first beta. So I'm of course very anxious to get those numbers. Really my first big goal is to make it past beta #2 with increasing numbers. If you recall, that's where we fell short two years ago. So assuming we can accomplish that, we'll have made it farther than we ever have! But again... one day at a time. I'm really trying to just enjoy being pregnant today and not worry too much about what happens tomorrow. Easier said than done, but the worrying will get me nowhere. I'm still spotting, which I know is not a bad thing necessarily but it still makes me nervous. It's simply out of my control, so what's a girl to do? Just breathe and make it to the next day.

Thanks again for all your sweet comments, emails, and tweets yesterday! Each one made me smile! I so appreciate the love and support! xoxo

If you stand on your head and squint your eyes...

...can you see what I see?!

We've actually been testing since Sunday, per my sweet husband's prodding. I told him this was useless so early, but whatever. We still had like six of the cheapo tests. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And then yesterday morning, after seeing nothing, I thought I saw the faintest hint of a 2nd line when I was later throwing away the test. I mean, anyone less neurotic would not have seen it. And I convinced myself that it meant nothing. I was feeling crappy yesterday and starting to spot. I was beginning to think this indeed was another bust.

But this morning we clearly got two positives - one on el cheapo test and one on First Response. You can definitely see the 2nd lines here in the pic but it's more clear in person - I promise. I keep looking at them to make sure I'm not hallucinating. I think I asked the hub, "do you see them?" like 50 times.

Ahhh... still in total shock right now I think. I absolutely detest taking HPT's, so to see two lines this morning was pretty unreal. It's been two years since we've seen a positive. Even with our last chemical pregnancy on the 1st IVF round, we were never able to get a positive on a home test. So this is definitely progress! Of course it's early, anything can happen, yada yada yada... we know that all too well. But this is a step in the right direction and we will celebrate every step! Thanks again for all the prayers and encouragement along the way.

And yeah, I promise I'll get the pics and video, etc from the transfer up at some point. As many of y'all know, blogger was a mess last week and I just haven't gotten around to it this week yet. Hopefully tonight!

Precious Babes

The transfer went perfectly! My lining looked beautiful and so did our TWO sweet embryos!




Over the last couple of days I was hoping Dr. T would be comfortable putting two in (vs. 1) - it just felt like the way to go. And sure enough, he was all about it. More video and pics to come, but for now I'm going to take it easy and concentrate on baking these sweet little buns.

Once again, thanks so much for all the love and prayers!

FET Video Diary: Transfer Day

We thought we'd be able to film inside the transfer room - Dr. T was cool with it - but, the facility itself has strict regulations against it, so no dice. But we were allowed to get a few pics in there! And we did get some footage before and after...

Everything went smoothly aside from the fact that my bladder was about to BURST! The nurse actually let me pee a *little* bit because I was overly full. There was a "difficult transfer" ahead of us that backed our time up a bit. Any other appointment, no biggie. But when you've got to maintain a full bladder, well... NOT fun! But of course we made it through fine. All is good!

Here are a couple of pics of the ultrasound screen...

The reason for the full bladder is that it allows them to differentiate between the bladder and uterus on screen so the doctor can direct the catheter (carrying the embryos) to the money spot. This isn't the greatest pic, but this is an actual screen shot from the ultrasound where you can see the embryos going in! The bright white spot the arrow is pointing to is the fluid containing the embryos, so we get to watch it as they go in. How COOL is that?!

And here's a look back into the lab. This is where all our sweet babes are sleepin' on ice! That's actually Graham back there, not Peter. Peter was sick the day of our transfer. He was in the lab, but was staying away from patients. Aw, we missed you Peter! But Graham was very cool too. All the embryologists have excellent accents.




The lab is literally right next to the transfer room. When we first get into the transfer room and set up on the exam table, the embryologist comes in and shows us our embryos on screen and tells about their quality, etc. Then he loads the catheter in the lab and brings it out as soon as Dr. T gives him the go-ahead. The lights are off (which is why all our pics are so dark) so the little babes aren't disturbed. Once Dr. T transfers the embryos, he gives the catheter back to the embryologist to verify that no embryos were left in the catheter. All clear! And it's done.

And that, my friends, is where the magic happens.

Hooray, It's Transfer Day!

So many things running through my crazy head this morning...  Like did I take all my meds?  Yes, of course.  Did I bring my big water bottle?  Yep, sitting right here beside me.  Will they remember to thaw our embryos today?  Pretty sure they've done this before. 

 

I'm not as freaked out about the full bladder ordeal (you have to arrive with a full bladder for the procedure) this time, but it still makes me a little nervous.  I have been running to the bathroom like every 30 minutes the last couple of weeks, so I have purposely tried NOT to drink a lot of water this morning.  I'll save the chugging for go-time.  It's weird though because at all my "normal" ultrasounds, they send you in a room to change and tell you to empty your bladder.  So today I will have to also go into a room to change - that has a toilet - but I'm NOT allowed to pee.  When your bladder is about to burst and there's a toilet in front of you and your pants are off, you literally have to repeat to yourself over and over, "don't pee, don't pee, don't pee."  Well, at least I do. 

 

Anyway, aside from those silly anxieties, we are SUPER excited for today!  I feel great about it and my stomach is all in knots (in a good way).  I cannot wait to see our babe(s) on screen!  Still not sure how many we're transferring... it will be a game time decision based on the quality of the embryos.  Just praying for wisdom that we make the right decisions along with our doctor. 

 

We will be recording whatever we can of the transfer, so I'll be back at some point to post the video and of course, a pic of the embryo(s)!  Thanks so very much for all the sweet comments, tweets, emails, phone calls, and prayers - I appreciate every single one SO much!

Time to Defrost!

It's finally here... less than 24 hours now!  Our transfer is scheduled for 2:30pm tomorrow.  Since I got an afternoon time, I'm going to go on in to work tomorrow morning before my appointment and then take the rest of Wednesday and all day Thursday off to stay horizontal.  I know bed-rest doesn't technically make all that much difference - but better safe than sorry.  So I'm just going to take it easy, load up on protein, and give my uterus lots of pep talks.

 

I had my last dose of Lupron this morning, finished up my Medrol, and I'll also finish up the Doxycyline tonight.  I will stay on the same dosage of Estrace and progesterone (the big nasty shots) indefinitely.  So far, only one of the PIO shots has really hurt.  I think we just hit the wrong spot.  But I still get anxious before each one.  Will that ever end?!  I found a good video done by a nurse with general instruction on intramuscular shots - definitely some good tips if you find yourself having to do these PIO shots or another IM shot - check it out.  The hub literally took a sharpie and drew the 4 quadrants on my bum before giving me the 3rd shot... too funny. 

 

I had my last round of acupuncture today before the transfer....  it's always a good time to relax, breathe, and talk to God.  There's no rush... I've got like 30 needles stuck in me so I'm sure not going anywhere.  It was good quality prayer time today.  My prayers aren't so much the "please make this work!" kind.  They're more often the "lead me, guide me, hold me" kind of prayers.  Whatever happens, just give me peace.  That's really all I need.  But I will say I feel VERY good about this cycle.  I never say things like "I know this one will work!"  Because I don't.  But I do feel great about tomorrow.  I know I'm doing everything I can possibly do and the rest isn't up to me.  And I don't want to think about it not working because really there's no point in that kind of thinking.  Basically, I just do not like to speculate either way.  We're literally just taking this step by step.  So we'll figure out the rest when it comes.