Keep trying.

Monday again, huh?  The weekends always fly by so fast - especially when I'm being robbed of a full one!  I worked most of Saturday and then had Bunco Saturday night with the neighborhood gals.  And I WON for most games!  I tied for most buncos too, but lost in a roll-off... oh well, I still snagged $40 in the end!  It was a good night. 

 

During several games I was partnered with one particular neighbor who I hadn't talked to much before.  I got the usual "do you have any kids?" from her and I gave my "no, just doggies" answer.  Then she asked if we were trying (which she prefaced with the fact that she was nosey).  "Oh yeah," I said, "we've been trying for a long time."  And then she responded with the best answer I think I've ever gotten.  And not one I'd expect from a self-confessed nosey person.  She simply said, "Keep trying."

 

I love that.  It wasn't followed by "you'll get there" or "it'll happen when it's meant to" or "have you tried..." or "God has a plan."  It was just "keep trying."  For some reason that's been stuck in my head all weekend.  I'm so used to getting all kinds of crappy (though well-intended) responses from people whenever my oven comes up... because you know, everyone just wants to *fix* me.  So I guess I was refreshingly dumbfounded to get such a simple, yet meaningful response.  And we definitely will keep trying.

 

Alright, another long work week ahead.  I'll pop in when I get a breather!

 

 

Buford Betty Fashion Week: Dress your age.

We just can't talk about fashion this week without hitting this topic... age appropriate dress. Oh, it's one of the most fun things to dish about, don't you think?! I see offenders everyday! They often prompt long discussions on the topic between me and bestest. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't have age ranges on clothing tags... I mean toys have them, right? Why not clothes? You have to be over 21 to purchase alcohol, so maybe you needto be under 35 to purchase a mini skirt. Can you picture it? I'm seeing a "we card" sign at the J. Crew register. I love it.

Well, obviously that'll never fly, but it's fun to think about. Age appropriate dress is a big deal though... and I'm not just talking about dressing in your 30's versus your 50's. I even see pre-teen offenders. And I know you have too! You can express great style at any age, but don't forget to dress your age. And um, that doesn't mean the age you WISH you were. You may say age is just a number, but really... should a 25 year-old and a 55 year-old share the same wardrobe? I think not. And, while I could write pages and pages on the topic, I will just touch on a few offenses that leave me completely puzzled.

1. Older moms wearing their daughter's clothes. Well, at least that looks like what they're doing. Months ago, I was sitting in a deli waiting on my order when this really attractive older woman walked inside. I'm guessing she was in her 50's. She had a great figure and carried herself well - but all I could think was, did you rummage through your 22-year-old daughter's closet this morning? First, she had on a really trendy pair of designer jeans. Now, I'm not AT ALL saying that once you're over 40 you need to start wearing mom jeans...


Heavens, no. But's let's leave the overly trendy and embellished denim to the younger generation. Rock on with the designer jeans if you want - I don't care who makes them, but keep it simple and polished. You're 50. The jeans were a fairly minor offense though. It was really the spaghetti-strapped babydoll top that had me perplexed. I mean, really? This is a perfectly cute outfit for a 25-year old, but not you. Aside from "appropriateness," it's also a matter of taste. And though we all have different personal styles, taste is not so subjective. Neither is it solely a matter of showing too much skin... there are just certain fits and styles that are created for younger women. Flirty, flowy little numbers look ridiculous on older women. It can come off almost costume-like. I think a lot of women believe they have to wear younger looking garments to appear youthful and sexy, but sadly - they come off looking quite the opposite. An older woman that I think has absolutely killer style and understands the concept of age appropriate fashion is Helen Mirren. Or perhaps she's the puppet of a great stylist, but she dresses her age and she always looks incredible.


2. Letting it all hang out (when you should've tucked it in like 10 years ago). If you ask me (thanks for asking), it's much more tasteful to cover up as you age. When done right, a little skin can be striking (see Helen's little taste of cleavage above). But there is definitely a sliding scale correlating skin exposure and age. It may not be an exact formula, but it exists in theory. I'm generally on the more conservative side when it comes to "covering up." So perhaps I'm a little biased, but I often find too much skin so tasteless - no matter your age. My personal style is anything but conservative - I dress to get noticed, that's for sure. But you won't see my ass hanging out. Not at 31, and not at 21 either. Sex appeal has little to do with the amount of skin exposed. So many women miss that, sadly. A little skin goes a long way and it's all about balance. If you're young and you've got great limbs - go rock that mini. But balance it out with a loose-fitting top that provides a lot of coverage. If you're wearing a low-cut blouse, go with a more conservative bottom. The most frustrating thing though, is seeing older women showing entirely too much skin. And not just women in their 50's and 60's per se, I'm talking about 32 year-old's prancing around a bar with their midriffs showing. I've never been a fan of the bare midriff (unless on a beach), but if there is an appropriate age for this, there's got to be a very, very small window of opportunity, don't you think? Like maybe 18 to 21. Maybe. Still - not a fan. And I know there are a lot of older women out there with incredible bodies that think the rules don't apply to them. A repeat offender that immediately comes to mind is Nicolette Sheridan. At 45, she has got a killer figure. Kudos for that. But hey, guess what - you're 45! Stop dressing like an 18 year old and cover that shit up.

3. Turning in your style card once you have kids. Now I'm sure I'll get called out for being an ignorant non-mom here (sure, go ahead), but really - this one kills me. The first two offenses focused a lot on older women trying to dress younger, but let's discuss younger women dressing too old. Like nursing home old. I see this all the time. Young moms getting so wrapped up in their kids' lives that they forget they have lives too. Now I do understand that your life changes once you have kids - your focus shifts entirely and you have a new set of priorities. I get that. But I also know it's possible to still take care of yourself. I know this because I have many friends that are successful at doing so. Yeah, they're now more concerned about preschools than designer handbags, but they still care about how they look. Others, however, are just aging themselves unnecessarily. I was talking to a neighbor not too long ago - you know, normal superficial neighbor talk. She's in sweats. Her hair's a total mess. Not a lick of makeup. And this is at a party, mind you - not at the mailbox. Her kids were young, but I figured she was like pushing 40. Turns out she's YOUNGER than me! Dear God! Is this what happens? I was absolutely stunned. I suppose it all comes back to the fact that you make time for what's important to you. I'm sure it's a big struggle to find some "me" time as a mom - especially a new mom- but if it's important to you, you'll make the time.

Gosh, we could go on forever on this topic, couldn't we?! I know y'all have witnessed people not dressing their age... offenders are everywhere. Spill, why don't ya? But let's not forget to honor those who get it right... any great style icons of yours that always hit the mark?

Buford Betty Fashion Week: A very stylish interview.

I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with the fabulous Courtney, a high schooler in our neighborhood who has caught my eye on several occasions. I always noticed her at various neighborhood gatherings... the way she carried herself, her contagious smile, and most of all - her amazing style. At only 15, she seems light-years ahead of other girls her age. When I decided to do a week of posts on fashion, I knew I wanted to get the scoop from her. It's SO refreshing to see a young girl, at such an impressionable age, laying her own tracks instead of stepping in line with the rest of the crowd. To see such individual style coming out so early on in her life tells me this girl is going to do incredible things.

As I sat down with Courtney in her parent's living room, she was grinning, perfectly poised, and ready to fire away. I knew from the start that she'd have a lot to say on the topic...

Buford Betty: Tell me a little about yourself... what you're involved in at school, your favorite classes, what you're into...

Courtney: My favorite class is language arts. And this year social studies and lanugage arts are combined... I love history as well. It's like a big storybook everyday. I play guitar... I'm not into sports at all, but I'm like in love with music. So that's my thing. I'm starting to get really involved with my church. Have you ever heard of Interact? I'm involved in that. It's volunteer community service and things like that.

BB: Very cool! Now let's get down to it and talk about style. I wanted to talk with you specifically because I've seen you around the neighborhood and you've obviously got great style. I recently polled my readers about how they put together an outfit on any given day. The results were pretty even across the board... some pieced the next day's outfit together from head-to-toe the night before, while others admitted grabbing whatever they could find that's clean as they ran out the door. I'm curious how you, as someone with such great personal style, puts together an outfit. First, do you put a lot of thought into it, and secondly, when do you actually pull it all together?

C: I do put a lot of thought into it. Normally at about 10:30 at night I'll be starting to get things together. And when I get things together, I'll go to my mom's room and they're like trying to go to bed. But I'll wake them up and say, "Mom, does this look good?!"

BB: So you actually like try stuff on the night before?

C: Oh yeah, I'll go through four things, plus the jewelry, get everything worked out, and then I always ask my mom. She's always my fashion consultant.

BB: That's really great. I remember my mom always tried to get me to pick out my clothes the night before but I rarely did! And the fact that you're a teenager is one of the main reasons I wanted to speak with you. A lot of girls your age are easily influenced about what other people are wearing. What do you see other girls wearing that drives you nuts?

C: If I see one more of the same Hollister shirt, I'm gonna scream! I can't stand it. The thing I don't understand, is Hollister, Abercrombie, American Eagle - all those - they all have the same thing. It's all from the same company. Actually my grandmother worked in a mill in Opp, Alabama and they had some kind of big line - a Kohls line and something else. It all came from the same thing, it was all the same shirt, except at the end of the line, they stuck another tag and price tag on it. To me, I think brands are overrated and it's what you do with them. Like, this (pointing to her blouse) is from Hollister, but I didn't buy it. I don't shop there because I don't agree with what they believe in with nude advertising. Why would you advertise nudity if you're selling clothes? Whatever.

BB: So do consider yourself "trendy?"

C: I do, but I don't run out and buy something if I see everybody wearing it. Of course I try to keep up with the colors that are in and whatnot, but I just like my wardrobe. I like what's practical for what I wear.

BB: Are there any celebrities or designers that you look to as style icons?

C: Audrey Hepburn!

BB: Yes, she's definitely an icon. What about other media - do you keep up with fashion magazines and the like for inspiration?

C: Um, I'm a What Not to Wear fanatic! Every Friday night that's what we do as a family. We all sit down, including my dad, and watch What Not to Wear. It's almost a religion.

BB: That's a great show! And I'm a Project Runway person. I love that show.

C: I LOVE Project Runway! That too!

BB: Very cool. Now, I find that people with great style aim to be different. They tend to think outside the box. While they keep up with current trends, they always seem to be ahead of the pace. What do you find yourself doing to stand out from the crowd?

C: A lot of things. I think everybody has those pieces that everybody has. And I have a couple of those too. But what I like to do is take something that everybody wears and make it a little bit different. Like, on spirit day, for instance... everybody was wearing a red shirt or blue or whatever and their jeans. I wore a red v-neck instead of a T-shirt, with a white lace cami and then instead of doing like a (high school) headband like everyone does, I found an old white scarf that was very 60's, that came around and tied under and I boofed up my hair up in the back and wore that instead. And a pair of Keds.

BB: Very cute! Kinda retro!

C: I love retro.

BB: I've also mentioned that stylish people create "looks" when they put together an outfit. You love retro... are there any other looks you like to go for?

C: I go with everything. Yesterday I went to school and I was more punky. It's funny because each day people will be like, what are you today, Courtney?! I get that a lot. I like to mix different genres, too. But not to where it clashes and it's obnoxious!

BB: So do you have a certain go-to store for clothing? Like if you needed a dress, where's the first place you'd go?

C: To get a dress? Not really 'cause that's spotty. But, like everyday kind of stuff? I love Forever 21.

BB: What about accessories? I love accessories... I'd rather spend my money on shoes, jewelry, and bags than on actual clothes. That's where I have the most fun. What about you?

C: Actually for a while there, the only way my parents could get me to pratice my guitar is if at the end of the month, if I practiced everyday, I got a pair of shoes. I'm not kidding.

BB: That is motivation!

C: But a lot of my jewelry is my mom's. Like this (pointing to her necklace) I found in the bottom of the basement. Or just random things... like I like to find random things and turn them into jewelry. I took a bunch of my guitar pics and heated safety pins over a candle and made it into a necklace. But yeah, I'll raid my grandmother's drawers. Or a lot of it's given to me.

BB: So it sounds like you like a lot of vintage looking things.

C: Yeah, yeah.

BB: You know, people with style tend to see potential in things that others don't often notice (hello, guitar pics!). Whether it's people, or a room, or anything really. I remember in high school I would see people and I'd be like, man... if I could just have 30 minutes with her, I could totally make her look good! Do you ever find yourself doing that? Not necessarily just with people, but with anything. It could be as simple as a sweater... and you start dreaming up all sorts of things to do with it.

C: Yes. Well, I want to be an interior designer. Actually upstairs - my playroom, I'm redecorating it right now, which is really cool. Um, yeah - if someone is walking by... I used to sit last year with two guys at lunch. It would drive them crazy because people would walk by and I'd just be like... (shakes her head). And they'd be like, oh there she goes again. There are a couple of girls and I actually said, you know - if you'd part your hair on the side it'd look really pretty. You know, the ones who part it straight down the middle and smash it down? I actually got a couple of them to do that and they ended up looking really pretty.

BB: That's awesome. And one last thing I have to ask... it's one of my favorite questions. What's the one item in your closet that you simply couldn't live without?

C: Hmm... Probably my Keds. My white classic Keds. They go with everything!

After we finished chatting, I had Courtney show me some of her favorite outfits. Here's her adorable outfit for the first day back to school this year...

And a couple of other favorites...

Courtney was so fun to talk to - so impressive and inspiring! She's gorgeous, her style rocks, and she's got a big heart. And wow - only 15! That's not something you see everyday. If that's not inherent style, I don't know what is.

Hello Friday, so good to see you!

Thanks so much for all your sweet, sweet comments and prayers for my neighbor and her family. It's so comforting to know there are prayers going out all over the country! How cool is that?! This morning we all got this last email from the ring leader and I thought I'd share it. We moved to our neighborhood about 2 1/2 years ago and we really have learned the true meaning of "neighbors." I encourage you all to reach out and get to know your neighbors because in times like these, the love and care from all of them can be priceless. I'm lucky in that I'm surrounded by many friends and family here locally since I grew up here. But many - if not most - people in this city are transplants and don't have that luxury. So it's even more important to reach out for that very reason. So I'll leave you with this email and wish you a fabulous weekend! I'll be working most of it, so no super exciting plans for me. Have a great one!

The email...

"I want to thank each and everyone of you for your e-mails concerning Sulianna and her family, for your calls asking what can you do, your offer of childcare, cards that you have dropped off to me or delivered to her, your contributions of breakfast meals,care packages for the hospital, your contributions for dinner meals and your monetary contributions. Thank you to [Jill] for coming up with a schedule for meals. I don't have an update on Sulianna today but plan on seeing her tomorrow and will update you as I know more . . . When we moved here three years ago, [Jane] and I would talk about getting "The Ladies" in the neighborhood together so that we could meet everyone, form friendships, share stories, meals, good times and tough times. It took us a couple of tries to get it started but I am so happy we kept trying. You all have exceeded my expectations of what we were hoping to accomplish when we set up to unite "The Ladies"! I know I've become really sappy during this past week but really who can help it with what's happened. We are now sharing the tough times and I'm honored to be part of a group that has come together to support one of our own. Thank you once again for everything each one of you has done in order to help Sulianna and her family. I will print out each of the e-mails I have received and give them to Sulianna to let her know that she has an extended family that really cares about her. She will be so awed to find out how much each of you cares. Ok, this is my last sappy note. As some of you head out this spring break or not, travel safely, enjoy your kids, hug your loved ones, unite with those you haven't seen or spoken to in a while and enjoy yourselves as much as possible but keep a prayer in your thoughts for Sulianna and her loved ones and may Falleen's husband recover from his injuries and may her children and grandson rest in peace."