It's not just YOUR day.

Obviously I'm making up for lost time here since I keep coming up with "must post!" topics every few seconds... geez. Well I can't help it. I was just in the break room refilling my water bottle and had the typical Friday afternoon convo with a fellow co-worker. You know, any big weekend plans? That sort of thing. So I was telling him about the two parties we're attending and then he mentioned a wedding he and his wife are going to tomorrow. He explains that the bride wanted a 6 o'clock reception, but the 4 o'clock ceremony slot at her church was booked. So she took the 2 o'clock ceremony slot, but - oh yes - kept the 6 o'clock reception time. OH wow. Now had this been a convo between me and bestest, I'm pretty sure it would've turned into a 3 hour discussion on the topic. But I just said, "Oh no.... well I hope she knows she's gonna lose people." He said they're having a 2.5 hour cocktail reception immediately after the ceremony - I have no idea where but I'm assuming a 3rd location. And then a second cocktail hour at the actual reception site before a seated dinner at 7 o'clock. FIVE hours from ceremony start till ya feed me? Oh heavens no.

All I can say is I hope this isn't some swanky plated meal at 7 o'clock because she can surely expect some no-shows. I'm not saying that's "right" on the guests' part, but 5 hours - seriously? People are going to bail! Especially if you're serving wine earlier that afternoon. And what about the older people - I know for a fact my parents would be like, to hell with this! If they saw on the invite that a reception didn't begin till four hours later, they'd probably attend the ceremony and bid adieu. I'm never a fan of lag time between ceremony and reception. It's just a bad idea and you will lose people. So, bride, I know this is your big day and all, but if you can't get the 4 o'clock slot at the church, either find a different church or do an earlier reception! It'll just be you, your groom, your heavy-eyed wedding party and the DJ left there to see you cut your cake, for crying out loud.

Here's the thing... my bridal consultant gave me lots of advice back when the hub and I were planning our wedding, but the thing she said to me from day one that has always stuck with me is this: "If you want to have your wedding day be ALL about you, then go off somewhere, just the two of you, and get married. Otherwise, it's about your guests." She had me sold right then and there because that's exactly how I think a bride should look at wedding planning. So when I hear about these crack-head shenanigans couples pull to have the wedding they want - no matter the inconvenience to others - it just urks the hell out of me. And don't get me wrong - I am in no way and never was the "anti-bride." I LOVE weddings and everything to do with weddings, but that also makes me very passionate about certain things regarding weddings. And this just happens to be one of them - hence this post triggered by a random water cooler convo!

And it of course reminded me of one particular wedding my parents were invited to that is a prime example of what I'm talking about... A couple of years ago my parents got invited to a Friday night wedding at the Fox. Well already right there you'd be on my shit list. The Fox is a lovely site, but on a Friday night in Atlanta? Do you KNOW the mess that people have to go through just to get to the Fox on a Friday night? Atlanta traffic is some of the worst in the nation and Friday nights are like the grand finale in a week of traffic hell. So already this is just asking for people to be late or even very likely miss your ceremony altogether. Oh but did I tell you? The bride not only chose a Friday night, but also decided to do this on the weekend of Music Midtown. Where is the Fox? Oh yes, in midtown! WTF. So not only are we talking about normal Friday traffic, let's throw in a huge ass music festival! As you can imagine, my mother was pissed about this whole wedding from the moment she opened the invite. The bride was the daughter of a friend though, so she felt the need to go and accepted the invitation.

Well the wedding approaches and my mom decides to go log on to the couple's site to see about their registry. While looking, she stumbled upon some event info they had posted and happened to catch this little tidbit (keep in mind this is a 7 o'clock wedding)...

"Don't fill up on dinner because we're having an array of desserts after the wedding!"

My mom immediately called me. She went from pissy to down right angry. "They expect us to drive all the way back into town on a Friday night for a 7 o'clock wedding and they're not going to feed us dinner?!" Ohhhh yes. So I'm sure you can put two and two together... this couple obviously was hell bent on having a reception at the Fox, but couldn't really afford it. So their solution was to pick an off night and not serve real food. All so they could say that got married at the Fox. Well come the day of the wedding, my mom actually got into a fender bender on her way home (from downtown by the way) and used that excuse - or a "sign" as she chose to call it - not to go to the wedding. She of course later called the MOB and apologized, but that's my point. Pull shit like this and you're going to lose people. If you can't afford a reception at the Fox, do it somewhere else for crying out loud! Who cares?!?!?! No one is ooohing and aaahing over your posh locale when they just sat in 2 hours of traffic trying to get there - and oh yeah - paying $10+ to park so they can show up late and have a slice of cake.

Wow. See what happens when you get me going? Sorry... just one of my huge pet peeves with weddings. I get tired of the bridezilla attitude where they think they can do or have whatever they want because it's "their day" and it's all about them. It's not! Yes, you're the guest of honor and everyone's looking at you, but you are catering to your guests - don't forget that. Y'all should be bending over backwards for them, not the reverse. A guest is there to celebrate your special day, so don't turn it into a chore. They should be able to enjoy themselves and not have to drop a dime - not a dime - from the minute they arrive till the minute they leave. I know some would argue with me on that one, but that's my own personal opinion. I don't mean to sound like I'm coming down on all the brides out there, I'm just asking that you remember to consider your guests and not *just* you. Because believe it or not, it's their day too. And I'll be stepping off my soapbox now back to level ground... ;-)