Today sucks.

OK maybe not like the whole day, but this morning definitely.

I think I'm generally pretty easy-going and level-headed about this whole baby funk, but today I'm just OVER it. We were supposed to start our first IUI cycle last month, but the hub's surgery recovery screwed that up. We gave it a good try or four on our own, but uh... -0- for 4. I think his meds were interfering with his ability to do the deed. It was pretty funny actually.

So anyway, we were gearing up to start our first cycle this month, but then I noticed the hub is going to be out of town during my most fertile period - good one, hub! Now the nurses are thinking he's totally trying to duck out of this... hahahhahaa.... Well we went to the doctor today anyway for labwork and to see what our options were with this timing conflict. We can actually probably still do it this month, but the real blow this morning was finding out the cost of all of it. I'm not sure what I was thinking - and it was dumb of me not to have researched more clearly - but apparently my insurance covers nothing on this... IUI is certainly way less expensive than IVF, but it's still no chump change.

I don't know... the whole thing just put me in a funk this morning. We're already thousands of dollars in with my surgeries and countless other "procedures" so it's just like, when is it gonna end? How much is my big fat belly gonna cost? Hub is going on an insurance rampage today and seeing what he can find out with them. If anyone can get something done, he sure can. As time goes on, my patience seems to be wearing thin... I'm trying really really hard to just trust God here and go with the flow. I know he has a plan for us. I know we'll find a way financially, and we gotta do what we gotta do, but ugh. I'm over it.