Reader Question: How do you find peace?

Yay for Fridays off! I only have two more after this week, so I'm really trying to soak up the fun while it lasts. What will I do when I have to return to 5 day work-weeks? Goodness. The hub is doing some PT work today, so it's just me and the girls at the house. I've got some small projects on the to-do list, but nothing crazy.

So last week I got this great email from Jenn over at Living the Good Life asking how I manage not to lose my cool when money seems to be leaving a heck of a lot faster than it's coming in (story of our current lives!). Here's a bit of her message...

"My husband and I have paid off all of our debt with the exception of one car and our house. We're now working to pay that car off and save up as much money as we can so that we can move in the next year but it seems like one bad thing after another keeps happening and I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack watching our savings dwindle down! It's really the most depressing thing. Since the end of May we've had to pay $7k in miscellaneous expenses (car repairs, plane tickets to a family member's wedding, getting a nice family of bats out of our attic, the list goes on and on.)---how do you keep from totally freaking out when it feels like you're just hemorrhaging money?? I know our savings is there for emergencies, but I have such anxiety over all of the unwanted and unnecessary spending. Any advice for me?!"

I totally don't consider myself a money expert by any means, but the hub and I have been to hell and back when it comes to figuring out how to win with money. So for that reason, I'm very passionate about the subject and freaking LOVE to talk about it. So I always welcome any questions on the matter and if our story can help others in some way, bring it. And by the way, being a CPA doesn't mean you're good with money. I mean haven't you seen doctors and nurses outside the hospital doors smoking? Yeah.

We're currently held up in what I call our stuck-in-mud phase of our plan. Which makes it hard to move forward, but we are. Creeping, but moving. As most of y'all know, the hub and I are total Dave Ramsey groupies. Me especially. It's like Jesus, then Dave. And we're currently on Baby Step #2, paying off all of our consumer debt (everything but the house). The hub has been unemployed for about 10 months now - which of course has turned our debt busting shovel into a flimsy plastic spork. So we're really just in survival mode right now until the hub is able to find full-time work. We have been really blessed with some great part-time opportunities that have helped along the way. I didn't think we'd make it past 2009 on my income alone. And here we are, knocking on the door of August 2010.

I can very much relate to Jenn's anxiety. Our situation isn't the same, but you know we girls tend to *freak OUT* when it comes to money (or the lack of really). It's a security issue for us, while it's a pride issue for the guys. So it's totally natural. But how do I keep from letting that anxiety and fear overtake me? I shared with Jenn what have been three personal mainstays in my life over the last couple of years that have helped me maintain peace in financially stressful times...

1. Tithing. Back in October 2008, when we ran our very first (EVER) monthly budget together, we decided then and there to start tithing (giving 10% off the top of our income to our local church). The hub and I have always loved to give when able, but we were never intentional about it before. We don't tithe because it's some item on a checklist of "things Christians do." We don't do it because God needs the money (ha!). It's simply about trust, and that's it. "God, we've obviously been idiots here, so we're going to do it your way from now on and trust YOU and not ourselves." We've been doing this for almost two years and the hub and I agree that is the single best decision we've ever made together. It has truly changed our lives. It looks ridiculous on paper, but that 10% comes right off the top - no matter what. No. Matter. What. We've never faltered on it, not even in months where we had no idea how we'd make it to the next. I can't even put into words the tremendous peace this has brought us. It is not an easy change to make. But nothing truly good comes without great sacrifice.

2. Worry not. Ha, easier said than done, right?! Oh how that worrisome fear can be so overpowering and crippling sometimes. And that's why I must continually drill this passage into my head...

"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. " Matthew 6:31-34

3. Pray. My daily prayer to God is that I seek his wisdom in my everyday decisions with money. That we take all of this one day at a time. That we look to him for strength instead of being handicapped by worry and fear. And to recognize how truly blessed we are that we've made it this far, for the amazing life lessons we've learned along the way, and for the work God has done in our hearts. When you feel overcome with fear, the best thing you can do is get down on your knees.

So there you have it. And yeah I know it's completely engrossed with God stuff. But hey kids, true peace is only found with God so for me, there's no other answer really. I know lots of people out there are struggling financially for many reasons... Maybe it's an income crisis, like us, or perhaps you've got a big storm coming that's going to suck up all your savings, or maybe you've lost everything but the shirt on your back. Whatever it is, terrifying as it can be, there is always hope. You always hear about these people taking their lives over financial crises. Fear really can take your life. The trouble is, they had no hope. There is always hope. You have to succumb to the fact that you can't do it on your own. So get on your knees and ask your Father for some help.

I hope you all find true peace!

Reader Question: What happened to that social life?!

Happy Thursday, all! Hope your weeks are going well. We've already gotten really busy at work with tax season... so I'm pretty much chained to my desk chair till mid-April. Though I'll still manage to steal a minute or two to hop on here and keep up with y'all - promise! Anyway, a couple of things... big news on the car front! We got a second car this week!!! And let me tell you, it was meant to be. The hub answered a craigslist ad for a 2000 Lexus this past weekend. (Don't ask me what model... I don't really speak Lexus, but I think it's just the glorified Toyota Camry version.) The guy selling it lived very close by, but the hub didn't hear back from him that day. The price was a little more than our budget, but we figured it was worth a look - and you never know, right? Maybe we could talk him down on price some. Well, we figured someone else snagged it, but the seller actually contacted the hub the next day. That same day, I relisted our Restoration Hardware chest on craigslist (which had been on there for months with not much interest). That very day, the hub got a response from a very excited buyer for the chest. They wanted it, at our asking price, and they wanted it now! Sweeeet! So long story short, the hub got the new car for $3,800 (a killer deal, by the way - it was listed at over $4,200 and is worth even more) and we were able to snag it easily since we sold that last piece of furniture. The timing was beautiful.

But that's not the best part... the couple that came Tuesday night to pick up the chest was SO great. While the boys moved the big ass chest out, the wife and I got to talking about kids, which quickly turned into a conversation about infertility. She had a great story of her own... she and her husband tried for years and years to get pregnant and they finally adopted a baby girl. Her doctors told her she'd never ever get pregnant. Eighteen months after adopting... she's pregnant. Even at delivery, her doctor told her she shouldn't be having this baby - it just wasn't physically possible. She set him straight and said, "God can do anything." Her kids are now 18 and 20. And I have to say she was one of the sweetest most understanding women I've talked to about all this. She knew my pain and she knew it well - she still teared up thinking about it, even 20 years later. I've often wondered if you eventually forget that pain and longing once you finally get there, but I guess you never do. Maybe you're not supposed to... so you can comfort others in their own journey. She paid me for the chest and gave me $50 more than our asking price, but she wouldn't let me give her any change. And she told me, "not only do I have a great new piece of furniture, I have someone new to pray for!" And we totally hugged when she and her husband left... hahahaha... isn't that crazy?!

Yes, so NEW car and our last piece of furniture we had up for sale is gone! Woo hoo! And while we're glad to have two cars again, both the hub and I kinda missed carpooling yesterday. He called me as soon as he got to work and told me it was awfully quiet in the car. So we decided we'll still carpool a couple of days a week. No reason not to... saves gas and whatnot! Ahhh and the second thing... I got a great comment from Jenny yesterday on a previous post with a fabulous question...

Betty,

Just found your blog. Love that you're following DR with success. Had to ask though- how is it impacting your social life? It looks like you were kinda big spenders before. How have you helped your friends adjust to your new (smaller?) entertainment and dining out budgets? My DH and I struggle with getting together with our freinds because everyone always wants to go out and those nights out (restaurants, theater, bars) get expensive FAST.

Any advice?

Jenny

Awesome question, Jenny - and something I haven't really mentioned on here! Yes, I'd have to say going hardcore on Dave's plan initially cramped our style a bit. For us though, it was a rather gradual process. We had already started to really cut back before we were officially on a budget and whatnot, so it wasn't as if our entire social life suddenly came to a screeching hault. But yes, we certainly used to eat out a lot, go to concerts and shows, and shop without thinking twice about it. And I can definitely remember some recent occasions when we found some "convenient excuses" to get out of going out to dinner with friends, etc where we knew it just wasn't in the budget. But we're very open to our close friends about what we're doing. They all know our situation and actually, a lot of our friends are on the Dave train too. Or at least budget-conscious if nothing else. So I have to say for us, it really hasn't been too big of an adjustment. Instead of going out to some swanky restaurant for dinner, we've been getting together with other couples and friends at each other's homes. A few weeks ago we went over to visit some friends who recently got married. They cooked dinner, we brought the wine, and we played board games. It was seriously tons of fun!

And really all my girlfriends know I'm a budget nut now. The hub and I really don't go out to eat at all - it's rare if we do. But I'll occasionally meet some girlfriends for dinner out, and we'll always pick cheap eats. None of us has any problem saying, I'm broke - let's eat on the cheap! And two of my best girls, Lucky and kuntry bride, and I have (don't laugh) slumber parties. Yep, slumber parties. In fact we just set the date for our next one this week. We take turns "hosting" and we just gather at one of our homes, get in our jammies, cook a fun dinner, watch girly movies and hang out.

So I guess the answer is, let your friends know where you stand, and get a little creative with more budget-friendly ways to get together. It's definitely tough to put up a hand and say, no I can't do that - it's not in the budget... but it absolutely gets easier, and a lot of times I think you'll find that when you start making more frugal plans, your friends just might wise up and follow suit. I hope that helps a little! Great question!

Alright girls... I gotta dry my hair and get going. Long day ahead... Hope y'all have a wonderful day. Don't forget to keep praying for sweet Harper!!! Things are looking good, but she still needs your prayers! Kelly has lots of great pics up, so go see check it out! XOXOXO!

Reader Question: Saying buh-bye to car payments.

Racheal left a comment on a previous post that I thought I should share... she had some great questions!

"I have been following your blog for a few weeks and I wanted to ask you about the debt paydown - especially how you sold your cars and bought new ones free and clear? My husband and I are thinking about this and don't really know where to start but we know that we need to do this! Any advice would be great! Thanks so much!"

Yeah, if y'all remember, we sold our 2005 Toyota 4-Runner last fall for the sole purpose of ditching the loan. Luckily, we were able to break even on it and weren't upside down on the darn thing - I know a lot of people are in that situation. So right now we've just got Phoebe, my sweet 1998 Honda Accord. We got her a new paintjob recently and she's looking fabulous. She's been paid for now for nearly 7 years... I bought her brand new (something I'll probably never do again).

ANYway, yeah the first the question Dave Ramsey asks his callers is how much they owe on their cars. His first advice is usually "SELL THE CAR!" He thinks car payments are completely stupid and now that we have a clue, so do we. We tried selling on craigslist at first... got some interest, but weren't getting our asking price. So after a few weeks the hub put it on Auto Trader. It cost about $50 to list, but within 24 hours it was sold at our asking price. We were thrilled! So I highly recommend going that route. People on craigslist are really looking for a bargain, so I think that' s why that didn't go in our favor. That's where we're currently looking for our new car. And by new, I mean something the $3,000 in cash we've saved up over the past couple of months will buy. So we're currently on the hunt!

So to answer your question, Racheal, I'd say go ahead and sell one of the cars so you knock out one loan while you're saving up the cash to buy a new one. And you can get a decent, reliable car for $2 or $3k. Once you've saved up enough to get a new one and buy, then you'll have the freedom to rid yourselves of the 2nd. And that freedom is awesome - freedom from the payments. That hot new BMW next to you at the gas station will suddenly just look like a big-ass car payment to you instead of something desirable. It's really nuts how all this changes your view on "stuff." Really the biggest thing with the whole debt paydown is you gotta get wicked fierce about it. You have to get pissed off and get aggressive as hell. That's when you start winning. From your post, it sounds like you and your hubby might really benefit from joining an FPU class near you. There are a bunch of new ones starting this month. We loved it - ours wrapped up this past November. Hope that helps, and best wishes to ya!

Reader Question: Budget Friendly Party Favors

I got a sweet comment from Some Like it Southern on my party-on-a-budget post along with a great question...

"I am hosting a Sip & See next weekend and since it's in the afternoon we are doing all deserts (and fruits) and I will definitely be using both of those recipes! Thank you so much for sharing!!! Oh and can I ask you if you have any suggestions for budget friendly favors?"

SLS, I think I read on your blog that this is a Sip & See for a new mommy, correct? I love the idea of doing all sweets - I've done that before and it's so fun. A good and really budget-friendly favor that I love to do for baby showers are chocolate-dipped baby spoons. They are so easy to make, and will go perfectly along with your dessert theme! If you're serving coffee, you can set a few unwrapped ones out for guests to use at the party. And then have spoons individually wrapped in cello bags with a cute favor tag attached for guests to take home.

It's stupid cheap... I usually get the First Years Take & Toss spoons. You can get a pack of 20 for less than $4. And just like my dipping how-to for chocolate-covered strawberries, use the same method for the spoons. You can also get creative with flavors if you want. Super easy, super cute, and best of all - super cheap!