Flash Mob

This is pretty cute... over 1600 high schoolers from all four campuses of our church are in Panama City Beach this week and they attempted to break the record for the largest flash mob!

Wake me up in two weeks, please.

Totally not complaining here, but I gotta say I am OVER this feeling like crud stuff.  I moan and groan all day and night like a 95 year old.  I get out of breath doing anything, even eating.  The nausea seems harder to tackle lately.  And if I could spend my whole day in bed, I totally would.  It's all good - I know my body's working hard to bake a human.  It's just tough feeling so worthless all the time.  But you all keep telling me this will pass soon, so I'm definitely hanging in there and hoping you're right!  I seriously feel for those pregnant with #2, #3, and so on... how do you do this with a toddler pulling at you all day?  I have no idea!!!  I only have to worry about me and I'm having a rough time with it... geez.

 

But again, no complaints... just stating, for the record, that I feel like shit.  But if that's what it takes, I'll take it!

 

We've got our 10 week ultrasound on Friday and then I'll be officially released to my OB!  Our first appointment is scheduled with her on Monday, July 11th.  She had the exact same wonky uterus issues I did (and Dr. T also did her surgery years ago), so I know she will be thrilled to see me in there knocked up finally. 

 

Alright... off to do some more groaning.  I have lots of great bloggy topics floating in my head, but no energy or motivation to do any of them right now.  Cut me some slack for the next few weeks, OK?  Then maybe I'll get interesting again.

8 Week Ultrasound

We had another ultrasound this morning!  Everything is right on schedule and measuring 8w2d.  And we got to HEAR the heartbeat this time!  So cool... BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.  And we could even see the little nut moving around some.  The baby is about the size of (and looks like) a gummy bear... he/she measured 1.88cm long today.  Apparently the head is on the right side in this picture (so they say).  Wow, so grateful.

 

Dr. T thinks this one's a keeper.  I do too, but shoot - you just never know.  We're still a LONG way from holding a baby in our arms, but so far so good!  My miscarriage rate dropped to less than 5% today - that was great to hear.  And Dr. T is continuing to slowly back me off my meds.  The best news?  I now only have to do the nasty PIO shots every other day!  Hallelujah - some much needed reprieve for my bum.  I'm also cutting the Estrace (estrogen) back to one dose a day (rather than two).  That's a welcome change, too. 

 

We go back for one more ultrasound with Dr. T next Friday and then I'll officially be released to my OB! I'm excited to move forward, but I gotta say it's going to be bitter sweet... I love my RBA team - they've been fighting this battle with us for over 4 years.  I don't know what it's going to be like being thrown into the pool with all the normal fertiles! 

 

The hub asked me yesterday if I'm no longer bothered by pregnant people, now that we're pregnant.  No, I still do a mental eye-roll when I see a big belly.  Because chances are they fell into their husband's lap one afternoon and turned up pregnant.  Does that ever go away?  Yeah, probably not.  And when do I get to relax and enjoy all this?  I am excited, don't get me wrong.  But for the most part, I would describe myself as void of emotion right now over all this.  I'm not fearful, but I think I'm heavily guarded.  Sadly, years of infertility make pregnancy rather terrifying.  It's hard to just completely let go and be joyful.  And I also think there's a lot of disbelief... like when will it seem real? When I can feel the baby?  It's such an exciting thing, and overall I think I'm handling it well, but the unknown is so scary.  It all makes me think of one of Drew Barrymore's quotes in Never Been Kissed...

 

"...for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it, and so scared that it will go away at the same time."

My favorite from last night...

Such a great Top 20 this year on SYTYCD! I have a lot of favorites but I'm definitely rooting for Georgia's own Melanie!

Pillow, anyone?

So I guess kids suck the life out of you from day one, huh? Seriously, this kid is taking every bit of energy I have, including my will to do anything productive. Which is why I haven't been on here much lately. I seriously just have no desire to do anything but sleep. Isn't that awful? I know the rest is important, so believe me, I take it when I can get it. I basically sleep through my weekends here lately.

I'll get up at my normal time on a Saturday (7:30 or so), make some breakfast (whatever I can tolerate) and feed the dogs, and then take a nap. I'll get up later and fold a load of laundry. Take another nap. Fold another load. Take another nap. And then all of a sudden it's 8pm. What? Yeah, that's what my weekends look like. Thrilling!!!

I really need to go to the grocery but have only managed short trips here and there. I've got to do a full blown grocery run this weekend though. I've just got to. But that's the other thing... it's not just being sleepy and fatigued - it's like you seriously don't CARE about getting anything done. Which is so unlike me. And it frustrates me, but it is what it is. I suppose I can manage a few weeks of laziness!

Food is still not all that appealing, though I have had a few cravings. All healthy stuff - pizza, ice cream, and donuts. Awesome. Why can't I crave tofu and spinach? I ordered a Papa John's pizza Saturday at lunch and it was seriously the best thing I've ever eaten. I kept talking about it for hours. Wasn't that pizza so good? OMG that pizza was just the best! Seriously, how GOOD was that pizza? (Uh, yeah, obviously I fell off my Moo Goo train.)

And we made pizza at home last night. Seriously, pizza is so dang good. Now, I am trying to eat well, so I decided to stick with my calorie counting and good eats during the week and then let loose on the weekends. So that's pretty much my rule for myself. I'm saving the indulgences for the weekends. That way I still get to have them, but I won't become a blimp in three weeks time.

Other than the exhaustion, nausea, and love/hate relationship with food right now, I am doing great. Eager to get to ultrasound #2 a week from today to see our little gummy bear. Then we'll have one more ultrasound with Dr. T at 10 weeks before I'm released from RBA! I already have my 11 week appointment set up with my normal OB, so we are good to go. Each week seems to pass by slowly, but looking back it feels like it's all gone pretty fast! This is just the longest stretch we've gone between appointments thus far... so I'm definitely ready to move forward!


About to wrap up the 8th week here in a couple of days. Our little life-sucking alien looks something like this...

Baby is growing like mad, putting on about a millimeter every day and continuing to straighten out in the trunk. Though you can't feel it yet, baby is moving those little arms, legs, and (now only slightly) webbed fingers and toes like crazy. [thebump.com]

7 Weeks Today!

Absolutely exhausted from two full days of CPE on the other side of the planet (i.e. the Cobb Galleria). I managed to stay awake, but barely. And I learned that a 1.5 hour commute back home with a sore bum is NOT fun. Grateful for my normal 15 minute ride!

Anyway... today we reached 7 weeks! Nausea is in full effect. No vomiting (yet), but definitely feeling nice and crappy. Never been so happy to feel like poop! So blessed to still be on this ride...


OK, please excuse me while I go take a nap. Hope you all have fantastic weekends!

More from yesterday...

Pretty cool, huh?

Ultrasound #1

We've got a beautiful SINGLE munchkin with a sweet beating heart!  So cool to see the little boom-boom-boom on screen.  Truly magical to see that this morning!  I will add better pics to this post later when I can get on blogger, but hopefully this little attachment pic comes through OK for now (I'm posting via email).

 

Dr. T said everything looks perfect!  Our little one nestled in to a perfect spot and set up camp, measuring right at 6w1d, give or take.  Although having twins would be cool, I must say Dr. T and I both were relieved to see just one.  I am high-risk as it is, and carrying two would be rough on me.  It's rough on anyone, but for me it'd be even more concerning.  Dr. T also confirmed that we'll do a C-section - he's guessing at 38 or 39 weeks.  They will not want me going into to labor for fear of my wonky uterus rupturing, so I will be watched very closely.  (Fine by me!)  He will continue to see me through week 10 and then I'll see my normal OB at around 11 weeks.  Wow... where all the normal fertile people go!  He thinks I'll also see high-risk doctors alongside my OB.  (Again, fine by me!)  I'm supposed to go ahead and contact my OB to let her know what's going on and to get that first appointment set up. 

 

I've still got to do the progesterone shots - which I knew I would have to, no big.  He gave me the option of switching to the vaginal pills if my bum couldn't take it anymore, but I said no - let's just stick with it.  So the sore bum continues...  He is, however, backing me off the Estrace little by little.  I've been doing 2mg 3x a day, and now I'm dropping that to 2x a day.  But the best news today was just the fact that we made it past such a HUGE hurdle.  Seeing that heartbeat was a big, big step.   He said our miscarriage rate dropped dramatically after seeing that... now to less than 10% (whereas we were somewhere around 30% before).  So that is most definitely encouraging!  There are never any guarantees, at any stage, but we are continuing to make real progress here and we are thrilled!

 

Due date (which I already calculated, duh) is January 26th.  But assuming they'll take me early, I guess we're looking at mid-January!  Take that, tax season!  Ha!

 

Thanks AGAIN for all the continued prayers and your encouraging comments and tweets!  Love them all!!!  We go back again on Tuesday the 21st for another ultrasound.  Yep, another 2ww...

The Weekend

...is almost over, but that's OK because we have our first ultrasound in the morning! I've been totally relaxed and calm about all this since last Tuesday. Which is really refreshing given that I was a bit of a basket case last weekend. But yeah, we have our first ultrasound tomorrow at 8am and we'll see my doctor to discuss the results. I'm sure I'll be a little anxious going into it, but right now I'm just excited. I can't believe we've made it this far! It's been a loooooong two weeks leading up to this point.

We're now in the 7th week (6w2d today)...

Your embryo makes great strides in size this week, growing to between 0.44 inches and 0.52 inches from crown to rump by the end of the week, or about the size of a small raspberry. Leg buds are starting to look like short fins, and hands and feet have a digital plate where fingers and toes will develop. The heart and lungs are becoming more developed, as are the eyes and nostrils, intestines and appendix. By now the brain and spinal cord are growing from the neural tube [webmd.com].


Looks like a little alien doesn't it? Growing like a weed. I will get news up here on the ultrasound as soon as I can! Big prayers that everything is developing as it should be and where it should be. And we should be able to tell if there's one or two little peas in there! Again, I'll be seriously surprised if there's more than one, but you never know.

So I actually wore a pair of maternity shorts today. There's no chance in hell of me getting into any of my other shorts right now, so I broke down and got a pair at Old Navy this weekend with a nice elastic waistband since it's so dang hot. They're really cute and comfortable on my pooch...




Another random purchase we made this weekend? Shift your attention from babies to dogs for a minute here. Have y'all heard of these Thundershirts?



A friend introduced them to us last night and we were so intrigued. They're really affordable, so we didn't think twice about giving these a try on our dogs. Our two have lots of um... "behaviors" that these thundershirts claim to help correct. We'll see. I'll definitely let y'all know how they work out. We ordered them today off of Amazon. You have to watch the video on the main website though - it's hilarious. You'd think they gave the dog a tranquilizer.

This weekend in general was pretty low key, though we managed to squeeze a lot in. My sweet friend, Lucky, and her hubby had a going-away bash. She's an army wife now and they are leaving Atlanta for the west coast on their first of many moves/adventures. I'm SO sad to see her go, but we're all thrilled for them too. It's an exciting move! I also met some girlfriends today to see Bridesmaids for a second time. Hilarious, again. And the hub recently got a bug to do some painting in the house, so we made a trip to Home Depot this afternoon and got all kinds of paint supplies. He made good progress today and I did a good job of napping and occasionally pointing while he worked.

Really just staying awake this weekend was a major accomplishment. The fatigue during these early weeks is no joke. Which reminds me, I need to go to bed...

Oh and P.S. - I got promoted to manager this past week at work! Ordinarily I would've made a big to-do out of that when it happened but it kinda took me by surprise the day it was announced and honestly, my mind's just been elsewhere lately! Though, I am very thrilled about the promotion and my mom will be happy that I finally mentioned it on here! ;-)

Now, for real - bed.

Beta #5 (Last one, I promise!)

11,349!!!

at 23dp5dt


Woot! I wasn't too anxious about getting today's numbers, but still - huge sigh of relief afterward! Definitely more at ease today than I was on Tuesday. Now I'm just waiting for Dr. T's assistant to call me back to schedule the ultrasound next week. Fingers crossed for Monday!!! I'm dying to see this babe on screen! (Or babes?)


And I'm also 6 weeks today! Amazing...


Grateful, again, to make it this far. Who knows what tomorrow brings, but wow - what progress! Hope you all have a fabulous weekend! I'm off to enjoy the afternoon with my sweet friend, Pam. Stay cool, fellow Atlantans... it's HOT out there!

Pooch.

Well, I made my first *official* purchase today of a maternity item. OK please, that's a total lie because y'all know I have a closet full of maternity clothes that have been collecting dust for years...




And that's after purging my collection and selling off a good bit of it! I know... my obsession with maternity wear is seriously ridiculous. But for real, none of my pants fit right now and I've been holding them together with either hairbands or binder clips. So this is my first official purchase out of true necessity rather than fantasy. Behold, the bella band!

Can't wait till it arrives so I can breathe a little better! I know my pooch is mostly due to my meds (good ole IVF bloat), but does the reason really matter when you can't button your pants?!

Beta #4

5,193!!!

 

at 20dp5dt

 

 

All levels are "excellent" and actually, I didn't even talk to the nurse today.  The hub went ahead and called them and got them for me!  I think he was even more eager than me to get the results - ha!  Well, I must say I am VERY relieved.  Totally amazed.  And completely grateful.  I had no idea what to expect today.

 

I was a bit of a mess yesterday.  Somewhere over the weekend, fear and doubt really crept in and took over.  And as if I wasn't already over-analyzing every twitch and tingle, I really started questioning things over the last couple of days.  TWICE this weekend I dreamed that I started bleeding and that it was all over.  And my boobs aren't as sore (for real, I didn't dream that part).  Yes, still quite sore but not as achy and heavy as they had been only a few nights earlier.  So of course I was thinking, great, the hormone levels are dropping, aren't they?  And I was still spotting, still feeling rather crampy...  and not to mention the fact that my right bun was SO dang sore yesterday!  Seriously, the most sore my bum has been since starting these PIO shots.  Not that my sore butt has anything to do with being pregnant or not, but it just made yesterday all the more miserable.  I felt like crap.  And I was not feeling good about today's beta.

 

BUT, obviously, all is well for now!  So glad to be able to breathe again and know that we've made it through yet another step with flying colors!  We have one final beta on Friday (I thought today's would be the last, but apparently not), and then we'll schedule the first ultrasound next week!

 

Thank you so much for the sweet comments and continued prayers! xoxo

All Eyes on Tuesday

The time's flown by pretty quickly, thanks to this relaxing 3-day weekend, but I'm definitely a little anxious for my beta results on Tuesday. I'm not fearful, but I certainly have ups and downs when it comes to wondering if everything is as it should be up in my girly parts. It's hard not to over-analyze every twitch and tingle. Is that good? Is that bad? What does Dr. Google say? Well, Dr. Google can really give you whatever answer you want to hear if you just keep asking.

Like for the spotting issue, you get plenty of sites and forums saying this is "completely normal" and not to worry about it. Then you find others that say, "OMG, go the ER now!!!!" So I just pick the answers I like best and deem them legit. But, yeah... I still am a bit anxious for those numbers on Tuesday so I can set aside the crazy for a few days. I don't have any real reason to think the numbers wouldn't be where they should be, but it's just absolutely unnerving waiting on that call!

Still though, whatever happens going forward, it's awesome that we've made it as far as we have. Progress is progress. I continue to pray for this little one, but I also pray constantly for peace with whatever path God is taking us down. But for now, let's keep celebrating where we are! I'm into the 6th week and there is a lot going on...



This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil. [from babycenter.com]


It still amazes me how fast these little suckers develop. I mean, 2 1/2 weeks ago it was a spec of dust and now it's developing all the major organs and has a beating heart. What?! Pretty exciting. Also around 6 weeks is when nausea sets in for a lot of women. I'm not there yet - definitely no vomiting on my end. But I still am having episodes where food in general just doesn't excite me. And it's gotten harder and harder to eat my one hard boiled egg every morning. I think I've given up on that for now. It just grosses me out.

Still got the sore boobs, which look "nice and big" according to my mother. Thanks, Mom. And minor cramping here and there - that's been pretty constant this whole time. Light spotting off and on. I did have a dizzy spell this morning but I don't know if maybe I just got up out of bed too fast or something. And speaking of the bed, we totally slept in this morning... LATE. We never do that. Like 8am is sleeping in to us. Yeah, we were still in the bed at 10:30am. Now granted, I did get up around 8am and fed the dogs, got some cereal, turned the TV on, and got back in bed. So after my cereal, I managed to fall back asleep for another two hours. Highly unusual for me. So yeah, I've also been tired too! All good signs, I suppose.

Alright, I've got to go fold a load of clothes and then sit my butt on the couch to "recover" from folding the load of clothes. Hahaha... I'm trying hard to take it super easy this weekend and rest. Hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day and safe travels to all who are on the road or in the air! We will just be doing a casual cookout at my parents'. I'll be back Tuesday with our final beta results! Keep those prayers comin'...

5 Weeks Today!

Pretty monumental and definitely cause for celebration as we've never ever made it all the way through week 5 before. The little precious spec of dust (or two?) is now the size of an appleseed!



Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's just one babe in there. I'd think my hormone levels would be much higher if both had stuck around, but you never know! We won't know for sure till at least the 1st ultrasound.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend! Oh and by the way, my jury duty yesterday was nothin'. We got assigned to a judge and a case and then the defendant entered a plea before we could even get in the courtroom, so we were dismissed. I was in and out of there in 2 hours. Works for me!

Jury Duty

I've been "on call" for jury duty all this week and today I've finally got to report. I'm sure it will be *loads* of fun, but I don't guess I mind all that much. Nothing crazy going on at work and honestly, it's a nice distraction. It'll keep me away from Dr. Google. I've always escaped jury duty before because the only other summons I've gotten in the past were from counties I had already moved out of... so this is truly my first time. Super exciting, huh? Thank goodness for my Kindle.