Buford Baby Update: Can we get a freakin' answer already?!

Yeah so, we started testing on Friday. I was *supposed* to wait till Saturday, but whatev. Friday was 12 DPO (that's "days past ovulation," for you fertiles who have no reason to know the acronyms) and we tested negative. It's weird... there's all this emotion building up to taking the test. I think I've mentioned it before, but I HATE taking home pregnancy tests. I got over that years ago. I never take them unless I have a reason to and I'm totally not one of these chicks who will test every stinkin' day till they get an answer. No way. Late Thursday night I sat in the floor of our empty nursery and I just prayed and cried and prayed and cried... wanting to fill that room so badly. But as much as we prayed for a positive result, I was just like, "huh, OK" when we saw the negative Friday morning. I really think the not-knowing is harder than knowing it didn't work.

But the thing is, we still don't freakin' know for sure. I was due to welcome Aunt Flo (nasty though she is) on Sunday. So the plan was to re-test on Monday morning if she didn't arrive by then. She didn't and we tested... negative again (15 DPO). So now it's getting annoying. Thing is, I'm feeling very much like I did two months ago when we did get pregnant - so that is quite a tease. I guess my symptoms are mostly due to my meds and hormones.

Well Flo STILL is not here. I'm on CD (cycle day) 31, so being this late is unsual, but not completely unheard of in my case. I typically have 28-29 day cylces. So the plan is to test again tomorrow morning if she doesn't show, and call my doctor either way. We're actually supposed to have a consult with him Thursday, in the event this didn't work, to discuss a more aggressive approach for next cycle. Well that's great and all, but I still don't freaking know what's going on with this one! Yeah, I realize I should know by now and it's probably a dud and my cycle's just late. But I always cling to the chance - however small - that it may still have worked and I just don't have enough HCG in my system yet to show up on a pee stick.

I woke up early this morning - I think it was around 3am - and had some pretty good cramping. I was like, oh OK... here she comes. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. But when I got up later this morning? No sign of starting. Cramps gone. And I've been cramping on and off for the past several days, but I really thought these were the real thing. So who the heck knows...

I honestly am cool with either answer at this point - I just WANT an answer. Yes, I think there's still hope. Although most women test positive by this time, there are a number of those who don't get positive reads until later. But I'm also realistic and am totally prepared to start this whole process over again in a few days. So anyway... I'd love it if you guys would just pray for us to have patience and also peace about the whole thing. I'm just in an "irritated" sort of mood about it all right now. PMS maybe? Ha!

Hopefully I'll have some real answers for ya soon!

Oh and on another note - Phoebe is being repaired and will be good as new! I was so excited that our insurance company didn't total her. And it worked out to where we really won't have to come out-of-pocket at all on the cost! Such great news!